You Can't Get A Man With A Gun

Oh, my mother was frightened by a shotgun, they say;
That's why I'm such a wonderful shot.
I'd be out in the cactus and I'd practice all day -
And now. tell me, what have I got?

I'm quick on the trigger, with targets not much bigger
Than a pinpoint I'm number one;
But my score with a feller
Is lower than a cellar -
Oh, you can't get a man with a gun!

When I'm with a pistol, I sparkle like a crystal,
Yes I shine like the morning sun;
But I lose all my luster when with a bronco buster -
Oh, you can't get a man with a gun.

With a gun! With a gun!
No you can't get a man with a gun!

If I went to battle with someone's herd of cattle
You'd have steak when the job was done.
But if I shot the herder, they'd holler bloody murder!
And you can't get a hug from a mug with a slug,
Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

I'm cool, brave and darin' to see a lion glarin'
When I'm out with my Remington.
But a look from a mister will raise a fever blister -
Oh, you can't get a man with a gun.

The gals with umbrellers are always out with fellers
In the rain or the blazing sun,
But a man never trifles with gals who carry rifles -
Oh, you can't get a man with a gun!

With a gun! With a gun!
No you can't get a man with a gun!

A Tom, Dick, or Harry will build a house for Carrie
When the preacher has made 'em one;
But he can't build ya houses with buckshot in his trousers,
And you can't shoot a man in the tail like a quail -
Oh, you can't get a man with a gun!

With a gun! With a gun!
No you can't get a man with a gun!

A man's love is mighty, he'll even buy a nighty
For a gal who he thinks is fun;
But they don't buy pajamas for pistol-packin' mamas!
Oh, a man may be hot....
But he's not...
When he's shot!
Oh you can't get a man with a gun!