Scoop: She's Dead

She's dead! She's dead! She's dead
What's that?
She's dead
Who's dead?
She's dead
Are you sure?
She's dead
Oh no
She's dead
What? Who? Sure?
She's dead
No! When? How? Where?
She's dead
What? Who? Sure?
She's dead
No! When? How? Where?

It's the scoop of the century
She'll make the front page for a year
She will live in people's memory
Tear after tear
An illicit secret love affair
With a filthy rich Arab heir
This didn't harm her popularity
But it sure embarrassed the Royalty

Paparazzi, the heavens are raining down your manna
Announcing the death of Princess Diana

Oh my goodness! This is breaking news! For newspapers, television, radio
Stop all other news! Sensational! Stop all press

The whole world goes into a frenzy of sighing and mourning
Disbelief, accusations, conspiracy theories abounding
Flowers and candles and Elton all bring so much sorrow
Nobody wants no other news as though there's no tomorrow

For weeks and weeks the mourning goes on unabated
For months and months the curiosity is unsatiated
But earlier on the fifth day a news was almost discarded
Mother Teresa died in Calcutta, disregarded

Now why did the old lady have to go
At such an inconvenient time
Give her one day's front page
And from tomorrow it's back to what's prime

Mother Teresa dying of old age
Might evoke a hosanna
But as world news that's no match
For the death of the lovely Diana

She died as she lived
Meekly, discreetly
The Mother of the Slums went humbly
In the shadow of a Princess
Quietly