0300 Hours
Woke up & heard the news, it was 3 o' clock
Couldn't function, couldn't breathe, my heart stopped
Today I held you, today I kissed you
Told you I loved you, now I'm screaming out, "I MISS YOU!"
I can't believe what I'm hearing from his mama on the phone
Suddenly it's all gone. Man, I'm all alone
I don't think I've woken up, this must be a dream
Cuz there's a kid inside of me & he's gon need a team
& now it's only me. My baby ain't near me
She's screaming on the phone like, "Jordan, can you hear me!?"
I hang it up. I'm having trouble breathing
I'm socking all my walls till my fist starts bleeding
& now I'm screaming, I'm steady thinking bout the facts
There's nothing I can do, there's no way he's coming back
This ain't no break up to make up, no ransom, bail, or price tag
All I got left is my baby in a black bag
My phone keeps ringing. Why the fuck they keep calling !?
I can't fucken stand and these tears keep falling
I'm looking at the ceiling. How'd I get on the floor ?
I must have passed out. Now it's about 4
I don't bother getting up cuz there ain't nothing else to live for
Crawl over to the cabinet. I'm downing all the liquor
Not thinking about nothing. I just want my boo
Fuck the world, fuck my baby, motha fuck you !
I pick it up again, it's Roger on the line
He says he's coming over cuz he knows I'm fucken dying
He says I sounds drunk & he's really fucken worried
I'm seeing blurry. He says he's coming in a hurry
He barges in, I'm on the floor, wasted & shaking
He shakes me, looking at me, says, "What have you taken ?"
He sees the bottles on the floor & he hits me in the lip
Says, "What the fuck you doing ? You're having a fucken kid!"
The phone rings again. He picks it up & then he grabs me
Carries me to the car. I wanna die so badly
Takes me to a house. Everybody's there gathered
I got my head down, shit, nobody even matters
I swear to fucken God, time stopped that night
& I swore to fucken God when I saw that sight
That 1 day he would be sorry even though I knew he wouldn't be
Why did you take my baby ? He's so motha fucken good to me
They say you never really know what you got until it's gone
I knew & loved what I had but shit still went wrong
We motha fucken loved each other. You could say we were obsessed
Now he's gone & I don't know what to do. I'm such a mess
I'm so depressed, fucken stressed & every night before I sleep
I say a little prayer for my baby, rest in peace
Man, you're always on my mind & you're always in my face
I see you everywhere I go. Every motha fucken place
I gotta tell myself to stop because I get myself hoping
It's you standing there. Man, I'm having trouble coping-
I went back to the coke thing, I cry until I'm choking
Only time I feel at peace is when I'm by myself smoking
I drink myself to sleep. This shit is fucking with my mind
I'm doing therapy & pills. I think I just need time
I wish that I was blind, wish I was def & emotionless
The 1 person I love ! I can't believe I have to go through this !
I wish that I could kiss you & fuck you til we can't
Wish we could have a conversation. Wish that I could hold your hand
But all I got left is poems & love letters
Some pictures & some videos saying you "finally met her."
The love of your life. Brown eyes, 5'3''
Man, a cutie with a booty, you were talking bout me
I lost our precious little baby. Doctor said it was the stress
Didn't even wanna have it, man, I gotta confess
Cuz when you died I turned cold & it broke my fucken spirit
I'm writing you this song saying I love you, hope you hear it
They say you never really know what you got until it's gone
I knew & loved what I had & shit still went wrong
We complimented each other, they always said that we were perfect
Now he's gone, I'm feeling like I'm motha fucken worthless
I lost my purpose & every night before I sleep
I cry & say a little prayer, boy, I love you, rest in peace