Freebase

I was up in Oakland with some old friends. I mean, motherfuckers I’ve known a long time. And I have changed as a person inside, right? There was an old dope dealer. Motherfucker used to… I used to follow him around for dope. And I always paid him. But it was always on credit or something… and the motherfucker acted like I was one of his pets. I started saying, “Wait, motherfucker. I paid tor the dope. I didn’t live at your house. I had my own apartment.” But he was acting like I was one of his bitches… and then. You know. He got real mad… ’cause I fired on his ass. I say, “No. Motherfucker, I wasn’t never like that.” I had my shirt oft and I was sitting on the couch… and suddenly he says something about… When you signify. Motherfucker gets vicious. “What about them burned-up rings around your neck, motherfucker?” And it hit me ’cause I had never thought of myself like that… ’cause I said. “Yeah, I’ve been burnt up.” It never had hit me like it hit him. I said, “Yeah, I been burnt the fuck up.” ‘Cause most people I meet. I act like I ain’t burned up… they do too. The motherfucker sneaks a peek. “A nice tattoo you have… all over your body.” I guess y’all say. “Fuck all that. How’d you burn up?” You say. “How’d you burn up in your own house. Motherfucker?” I know y’all heard all kind of stories about how I burned up basin’ this… and ether that. None of that shit got nothing to do with that. I’m gonna tell y’all the truth tonight. You got to promise not to tell nobody. – Can I trust ya? – Yeah! You’re some lyin’ motherfuckers. All my friends know this to be true ’cause everybody knows me. Usually before I go to bed. I have milk and cookies. And one night. I had some low-tat milk… and some pasteurized… and I mixed them together… and I dipped my cookie, and the shit blew up. I mean, the damnedest thing I’ve ever heard of in my life. Medical history was made. A lot of people say shit. I think about shit. Why do people think… All the people you ever heard of freebasin’… have you ever heard of anybody blowin’ up? Why me? Ten million motherfuckers freebase, I gotta blow up. I’m talking about… I started out smoking freebase. It was like… I started out one time. And I should’ve known something bad was going to happen… because I remember the first time I did freebase… I burnt my bed up. I was sitting on the bed, and somebody said… “Richard, the bed’s on tire!” I said. “What? The bed’s on fire?” It’s a weird disease. If any of you doin’ it… you ain’t gonna believe this, but if you’ve been doing it… longer than two weeks. You’re a junkie. Now I’m telling you so you’ll know it. I know you’ll tell yourself, “I ain’t no fuckin’ junkie.” You cannot stop if you wanted to. You’ll go home tonight and say. “Watch me.” You will not be able to. If you got the shit there, you will do it. I’m talking about, I started out smokin’… I would have a pipe and sit it down and walk eight feet away from it. Two days later. Jack. I would smoke. I’d go… One time. It looked like I had an appendage on my hand. It was the pipe. ‘Cause this pipe used to tell me when to go to bed. The pipe would say, “Time to get up. Time for some smoke. Rich. We’re not doing anything today. Fuck all your appointments. Me and you are just gonna hang out in this room together.” I’d get mad and frustrated. People didn’t understand me. The pipe’d say. “Come in the room with me. I got you covered. I know how you feel. Rich. Light me up. Hold me tor a couple of days. And we’ll talk it over.” I’m talking about a year later, jack. I’m talking about… I’m drawn up. fucked up and out of my mind… but I’m not hooked. People are trying to help me. I say… “You’re just meddling in my motherfucking business! You just think because I’m having a good… Leave me the fuck alone!” And I’m smokin’ my shit… ’cause my pipe would say, “I understand. They don’t know. It’s your life. They don’t have a right to fuck with you. Where were they when you needed them? Come in here with me. ’cause I love ya.” And then the pipe starts saying shit like… “You let me get a little low yesterday. I don’t like that. Don’t let me get low again. Or I’m gonna hurt ya. You promise, keep me full at all times. Okay? Come on, Rich. You can do it. ‘Cause I understand.” And finally. Dope dealers… I did it so bad, dope dealers tried not to sell me none. That’s doing it, for a dope dealer to say… “I ain’t gonna give you no more. I can’t see you do it to yourself.” Dope dealers don’t give a fuck about nothing usually. These motherfuckers refused to sell me cocaine. Said. “No. Motherfucker! You’re killing yourself!” What? “I don’t want to see you fuck yourself up.” I ain’t never heard of dope dealers doin’ that. I mean. You could sooner get free food in a Chinese restaurant. But these motherfuckers love me. Man. They say. “No, man. Can’t you just snort again?” And I’d lie and say, “Okay. I’m gonna snort. Just give me enough tor the weekend. I’m gonna snort it.” “How much you want?” “A kilo.” I don’t know I’m a junkie. I weigh about 103. I looked like… Ain’t been out of my room in eight weeks. Funk is my shadow. Funk be just hanging all over me, talkin’ about… “Hey. Don’t wash.” Then finally. My old lady called Jim Brown up. – She said. “Jim gonna come over.” – “Fuck Jim Brown! I’ll show Jim Brown. I don’t give a fuck. Nobody afraid of Jim Brown here.” Jim was coming in the driveway. I got all nervous. “Who is it?” “Jim Brown.” “Oh. Shit! This motherfucker ain’t gonna scare me. Let me get my pipe.” Pipe said. “Come on. Me and you will show Jim. Don’t worry. Shit, Jim don’t scare nobody.” Jim come in the room. I started smokin’. “How’re you doin’. Bro?” Jim had psychology. Jim’d go… “You wanna go roller-skatin’?” “Pipe.” “Maybe you wanna go tor a ride.” Jim say. “What you gonna do?” “What do you mean?” “What you gonna do about that shit?” “What? I’m doin’ what I wanna do.” “I ain’t afraid of you, you know. You ain’t no movie star to me. I ain’t scared of you. Motherfucker. I’m your friend. What you gonna do? You gonna get well, or you gonna end our friendship? What you gonna do?” The pipe said. “Don’t listen. He tryin’ to fuck with you, Rich.” “Jim, I am a man.” “There ain’t no doubt about that… but what you gonna do?” And Jim kept saying that all through the hall. “What you gonna do?” “Leave me the fuck alone! That’s what I’m going to do… I’m getting the fuck away from you… so I don’t have to hear ‘What you gonna do? ‘ ‘Cause I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do. Leave me the fuck alone!” So Jim almost got me to the hospital… but he had to go somewhere. Like to home to eat. And I was in the room with the pipe. And the pipe said… “Hey. Rich… Jim’s gone.” And it don’t matter how many times you break them motherfuckers… you go out and buy a new one. This is an addiction. It’s a monster. It’s pitiful. ‘Cause I ended up on the floor looking for shit. “Well, let me smoke this.” It’d be a piece of log. Anything. I’d say, “I wonder how my sleeve would taste.” I’ll tell you one thing. Man. When that tire hits your ass… that will sober your ass up quick. I mean. I was standing there on fire. And something said… “Why. That’s a pretty blue. You know what? That looks like fire!” I’m talking about, tire is inspirational. They should use it in the Olympics… ’cause I did the 100-yard dash in 4.3