Roxanne's Revenge

Well, my name is Roxanne, a-don't ya know
I just a-cold rock a party, and I do this show
I said I met these three guys, and you know it's true
A-let me tell you and explain them all to you:
I met this dude with the name of a hat
I didn't even walk away, I didn't give him no rap
But then he got real mad, and he got a little tired
If he worked for me, you know he would be fired
He wears a Kangol, and that is true
But he ain't got money, and he ain't got the loot
And every time that I see him, he's always a-beggin'
And all the other girls that he's always tryin' to leggin'
Every time that I see him, he says a rhyme
But compared to me, they're weak compared to mine
Every time I know that I am sayin' somethin' fresher
In any category I'm considered the best
And every time that I say it there ain't nothin' less
And everybody knows I will win the contest
Then after that came the Educated Rapper
His fingers started snappin', and my hands start to clappin'
Every time that I see him, everything he say
He rock-a to the beat and then he come up this way:
He said-a, "Yeah, you know your mother's name is Mary,"
And from what I heard, your father is a fairy
Every time that I see him, he's sayin' somethin' new
But let me explain to him what he should do:
He should be like me, a fly MC
Don't never have to bite, we're always right
I have the freshest rhymes that I do recite
And after that, and you know it's true
Well, let me tell you somethin' else about the Doctor, too:
He ain't really cute, and he ain't great
He don't even know how to operate
He came up to me with some crabish rap
But let me tell you somethin' 'cause you know it was wack
So when he came up to me, I told him to step back
He said, "You call yourself an MC?" I said, "This is true,"
He said, "Explain to me really what MCs must do"
I said, "Listen very close 'cause I don't say this every day:
My name is Roxanne, and they call me Shanté"
But every time-a I say a rhyme-a just-a like-a this-a
It is something you MCs can't miss-a
So Kangol if you think you're cute, you think it's all right
That's why you said it in a language so you wouldn't have to bite
You started talkin' Pig Latin, didn't make no sense
You thought you was cute, yeah, you thought you was a prince
You're walkin' down the block, yeah around when you're gonna clock
But everybody knows that you're all on my yacht
I'm just the devastatin', always rockin', always have the niggas clockin'
Everybody knows it's me, yeah, the R-O-X-A-N-N-E
Everyone knows I am fresher, any category best
So every time I start to write-a, everyone assists or to bite-a
Every time I do it, yeah, you know it is-a me-a
Rockin' on the beat-a that you can see
So, the UTFO crew, you know what you can do
Lemme tell you one for me, and then I'll tell you one for you
Every time you sayin', rhymin' just-a like-a this-a
It ain't nothin' that I don't want to miss-a
And if you're thinkin' right, and I'm bitin' your beat
Well, then you just better know, and a-listen to me
Because my name is Roxanne-a, and I came to say
I'm rockin' to the beat-a, and I do it this way
I'm conceited, never beated, never heard of defeated
I'm rockin' to the beat-a, and you know it is-a me-a:
The R-O-X-A-N-N-E-a
And if you want to play a little game for me
Lemme show you what you can do, baby
'Cause with a twist of my cheek, and a twist of my wrist
I have all the guys droppin' down like this
Yeah, I am fly, that I must admit
But everybody knows I don't go for it
So, if you're tryin' to be cute and you're tryin' to be fine
You need to cut it out 'cause it's all in your mind
Tryin' to be like me, yeah, is very hard
You think you are God, but you do eat lard
Tryin' to be cute, and you're tryin' to be fly
Don't you know you wish you could be my guy?
So I can take you home, make you relax
And everybody knows that you're out there, tryin' to tax
Like corn-on-the-cob, you're always tryin' to rob
You need to be out there, lookin' for a job
Yeah, you're tryin' to be, and talk about Roxanne
But lemme let ya know, you're not a real man
'Cause a Roxanne needs a man, and yes:
Someone fresh who always dress
Someone, yeah, who will never fess
And then I'll say, yeah, the rest
You gotta be cute and you're tryna be fly
But all you wanna be is Roxanne's guy
Because I turned you down without a frown
Embarrassed you in front of your friends, made you look like a clown
And all you do is get real mad
And you talk about me, and make me look bad?
And everybody knows how the story goes
There's no ifs, no ands, no buts, or suppose
No coke up your nose, no dope in your vein
And then it won't cause no kind of pain
But yet, and still, you're tryin' to be fly
I ask you a question, I want to know why:
Why'd ya have to make a record 'bout me
The R-O-X-A-N-N-E?

("Roxanne, sweet thing
Roxanne, sweet thing
Roxanne, sweet thing!")