Carry the Weight

I used to want to die but now I believe
Not in a distant god, there's a love I found in me
I'd rather be awake and in pain than asleep
Singing as if no one can hear takes more courage than you think

I carried the weight in the only way I knew
I carried the weight in the only way I knew

I was scared enough to lie and say that I'm okay
When inside I was dying, so confused, so alone, so afraid
I hope you never know what it's like to hide a piece of yourself inside
Or to be so fucking ashamed you'd rather kill yourself than be alive

I want to be alive
I carried the weight in the only way I knew
I want to be alive
I carried the weight in the only way I knew

I'm still scared but I've got courage to be
More vulnerable and one day free
Now my heart isn't covered in concrete
I breathe, I breathe
No longer scared of the vulnerability
No longer scared of the person that I see