Lifeboats

I just want to feel alive,
And love myself from the in and the outside.
'Cause every time that I start to feel whole,
I knock myself on the ground because it's all that I've known.
Just like the streets burn a hole through your shoe.
My soul has been worn out too,
I'm twenty-five and I still don't fit in,
Directionless like a blind man painting.

Mother, I'm so sorry,
I can't go on like this.
The lifeboats are leaving with or without me.
What's the point of falling in love,
If I don't love myself?
What's the point of being alive,
If all I want is out?

So I thought that it only feels right
To make decisions that danger my mind.
Late, late at night under black and blue moon,
I question the reasons that I self-abuse.
I'm so pathetic, it makes me sick.
I'm a fingerless pianist.
I see reflections, I clench my fist.
I'm a violin without the strings.

Mother, I'm so sorry,
I can't go on like this.
The lifeboats are leaving with or without me.
What's the point of falling in love,
If I don't love myself?
What's the point of being alive,
If all I want is out?

There is no love, there's only this.
Just lust and lies and selfishness.
A black hole where the sun once was.
I'm never falling back in love
Because it has never been enough.

Ever since I've been a young boy, I was alone,
Now that I've become a man, the feelings grown.
Through therapy, and through the pills, I can't let go.
But what about the fucking fact I'm still alone?

What do you do when you've got nothing left?
Give up, give up, and hope for the best.
I fell into the ocean eye, and I feel sick,
Waiting on a nameless rescue ship
What do you do when you've got nothing left?
Give up, give up, and hope for the best.
I fell into the ocean eye, and I feel sick,
Waiting on a nameless rescue ship

Mother, I'm so sorry,
I can't go on like this.
The lifeboats are leaving with or without me.
What's the point of falling in love,
If I don't love myself?
What's the point of being alive,
If all I want is out?