Seeds

I woke up today and thought my..my...
Been a while since I heard from you old friend
Not a text or a email to open
Let alone a phone call to answer
And ain’t nothing funny
But I thought you was stand up
But what is funny is the time it’ll take me to finish this verse
I could’ve called
And ask you "the fuck you been up to so long?"
See a part of me still got love for your player
Part of me is like "eat a dick you traitor"
But I suppose that’s how the game goes
When egos collide and dreams you let die
Come back to haunt you every time you see me shine
I’ve been
Doing well, doing great
I’ve been the best I’ve been since I’ve been solo
Since I’ve been focused
Still the same me
Don’t smile in my photos
Tell me where we, tell me where we
Tell me where we went wrong and faded
Split at the seams and can’t sew mistakes
And so it seems we can’t sew these seeds now
Speaking of seeds
I got a daughter now homie
She’s only three, but she extra bossy
I got her bumpin that Kendrick, Outkast some classic Wu songs
That Nasty Nas shit that we grew up on
And I’m still getting used to this fatherhood stuff
Paranoid that I might let her down
So I tell her everyday that I love her more than anything
And you wouldn’t believe what happened on the day she was born
We was on the 14th floor and so proud
Hearts full of joy and beating so loud
My folks on their way to see their fourth grandchild, right
But then I get a call from my brother so vivid
Mom and dad just got into a head on collision
Right outside the hospital too, shit
So now I’m running down to the ER
Hoping to god that god ain’t this twisted
Hands shaking, heart pounding, head spinning
Thinking this can’t be how this day finish
But when I found out that they made it out alive
Shit I could’ve died, shit I could’ve died
Made me realize, made me realize
This life is so precious
Shit can change in a heartbeat
Ain’t no use holding grudges or
Waiting to tell you how much I loved you
How much you meant to me
I can’t fathom
Then I went back to the 14th floor
Held Mimi so tight and gave thanks to the lord
Made me realize all this music shit is just bonus to me
I’ve been living in a heaven but I ain't know it to be
I guess its kind of why I wrote you this
And shared these thoughts
To let you know that I’ve never forgot
And even though we strayed and we went separate ways
I wouldn’t be me if I hadn’t met you
I wouldn’t be here if we never had met
Never had a dream, never planted those seeds
And maybe one day we can try to make amends
But until then
I’m sending you much love
Sincerely an old friend
[Outro: Sid Sriram]
(Carnatic singing)
Wake me with my name
Quietly with purpose oh
I remember what beauty is
Wake me with my name
Lost some pieces of myself
But I'm re-learning what beauty is