My Strongest Suit

In life, one has to face a huge assortment
Of nauseating fads and good advice
There's health, and fitness, diet, and deportment
And other pointless forms of sacrifice
Conversation? Wit? I am a doubter
Manners? Charm? They're no way to impress
So forget the inner me, observe the outer
I am what I wear and how I dress

Oh, now I believe in lookin'
Like my time on earth is cookin'
Whether polka dotted, striped or even checked
With some glamour guaranteeing
Every fiber on of my being
Is displayed to quite remarkable effect

From your cradle via trousseau
To your deathbed you're on view, so
Never compromise, accept no substitute
I would rather wear a barrel
Than conservative apparel
For my dress has always been my strongest suit

(Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere)

Staying in or hitting town-wards
From the top and working downwards
I ensure that every stitch is stitched in time (Is stitched in time)
Whether wig or hat or turban
Whether clad boudoir or urban
Not to strut your stuff outrageously is a crime (It's such a crime)

And the few who are invited (Overwear)
To my wardrobe are delighted (Underwear)
As they wander through my things (Anytime)
To find en route (We're wandering through your things)
That in negligee or formal (Negligee)
I am anything but normal (Anything but normal)
And dress has always been my strongest suit

(Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere)
(Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere)
I am what I wear (Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere)
I said anytime (Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere)
Anywhere

So bring me all my finest (Finest)
Most audacious, my divinest (Divinest)
Most revealing, most expensive and to boot (Most revealing, most expensive)
(Most arresting) Most arresting
(Most heartstopping) Most heartstopping
Most free-flowing (Overwear)
Most eye-popping (Underwear)
Most arresting (Anytime)
Most heartstopping, yeah (Anywhere)
Dress has always been my strongest suit!

(I am what I wear) my strongest suit
(I am what I wear) you know that I am what I wear
Dress has always been my strongest suit!

So bring me all my finest (My finest)
Most audacious, my divinest (Divinest)
Most revealing, most expensive and to boot (Most revealing, most expensive)
Most arresting, most heartstopping
Most free-flowing, most eye-popping
Dress has always been my strongest suit!

(I am what I wear) my strongest suit
(I am what I wear) you know that I am what I wear
Dress has always been my strongest
My strongest, my strongest
My strongest, my strongest
My strongest suit!