I Wanna Die

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If this Life is filled with Lies then i wanna die
If this Life is filled with Lies then i wanna die

Vers 1
Mum, you're the woman that I needed to look up to.
I hated when I'm angry and every time I say: "Fuck you!"
I always had a dream that you would be the special lady,
who would guide me throw life and i would be your special baby
Your life was more important with stupid fuckin' shit,
a signal to my brain to put a smile on my face.
I wanted to believe you were the perfect loving mother,
but you were to busy to being someone elses lover.
I hide all the pain and wish for attention.
All i needed is your heart, i needed your affection.
I did'nt wanna make this song but i almost choke,
cause sometimes mum, i really losing hope.

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Vers 2
I finally got a contact person at sixteen,
in that stages of my life still having bad dreams.
She became the woman that I wanted you to be.
Someone who gives me alot of love and simpathy,
She was that woman but I pretended saying no.
She gave me love and respect, all I wanted so.
Remember the summer back in june -05,
when you all leaved the house,
then I jumped to suicide,
taking all that pills when i was laying in my bed.
Mum, I still remember your reaction and all the things you said.
You acted I was so stupid, I deserve to die,
then you went and left the phone all i could do was shipe and cry.
Seven days later i'm moving out of the house
cause you rater leave you're lonley daughter up in the sky.
I hate you now more then ever,
if you died now I would only say "whatever"

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Vers 3
I wanted you to know how much i tried to really love you,
there was another woman but i put noone above you.
Her name was Elina and she treated me like gold,
like i was her only daughter but all i did was leave a hole.
the thoughts in your brain, damn! It makes me crazy.
I'm soon 21, but still acting like a baby.
I hate that i love you cause you can not love me back,
the way i want you to i'm runnin' to the days when i got smack.
Mum, you need alot of help but you never gonna take it,
you ripping out my heart and i allowing you to break it.
I know you need a father figure, it's just too late.
I need you as my mother, taking reath extra hate.
Remember all the times that we laugh and get along,
I wish that you could kiss me and edmit that you are wrong.
My heart is really scared and my head is really wounded,
I hope you hold my hand before the rest of me is wroend.

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