Popcorn Sack

Don't take me out to the movies,
I'd rather stay home and relax
I'll tell you the problem with movies
It's too darn many pop corn sacks
(Ah, Amy, Let me take off my shoes and run barefoot through your
hair.)
(Oh, but Charles, I always thought you wante.. (crackle crackle))
The big main feature lights the screen
The hero beats the villains back
Then comes the climax of the scene
Rattle, rattle, rattle pop corn sack

The mystery picture's in a mess
The cops admit the case looks black
Just when the crook starts to confess
Rattle, rattle, rattle pop corn sack

They've brought back silent pictures
and that's no gag
The loudest sound department
Is in the bag

On comes a girl in tight sarong
Cut so in front and low in back
She takes a deep breath for a song
Rattle, rattle, rattle pop corn sack

(Musical Interlude)

That Eddie Robinson is tough
But when he tries to do his stuff
""I'm gonna drill ya, see, and y'know why, Jack?
Now I'll slug that mug with the pop corn sack""

When Katharine Hepburn speaks her part
And gives out high dramatic art
""Oh, the callalilies will soon be back
On the chest of that pest with the pop corn sack""

That salt and butter rattler
Soon drives you nuts
You must eliminate him
No ifs or buts

It doesn't mean a doggone thing
When Mr. Jolson starts to sing

The noise comes from the guy behind
You turn and shoot (bang) falls down smack
You think now you'll have peace of mind
(Timber!) goes another pop corn sack