Captain Cocaine

[Intro: Mr. 8 Legz]
Super Dudes Crooning the Tunes
Right to your doorstep
Yo, this song is about coke, man
Check it out, man. Won't be let down

[Chorus: Whipstick, Mr. 8 Legz]
Whoa-o-o-o-o-oh, said I wanna do cocaine
Jesus fucking Christ, man, it's like nails on a chalkboard
Are you fucking kidding me right now?
Like a whole lotta cocaine
I get that, but you need to like calm the fuck down a little bit, man
Tim Allen smuggled cocaine
I don't fuckin'- well, no, I kinda believe that, but
Alright, man, whatever
Bitch, I wanna do coke

[Verse 1: Whipstick]
You'll call me Johnny Tsunami the way I'm hittin' the powder
You cut that shit so thick that it's mistaken for chowder
Book a trip to Ecuador, the product on the message board
Won't play your stupid games and I'ma smack you with a chеckerboard
Wreckin' my face and put my dick in hеr taste buds
Remember the bitch from last night? Yeah, same one
Left her fuckin' face numb, up in the waysub
I'm pumpin' her, dumpin' I left her something covered insane cum
It's A Weekend at Bernie's, except the weekend at your house
Doing the Rick James and kick my feet up at your couch
Beat up in your spouse, the teeth outta your mouth
Fleein' the scene to catch my fix and then meanwhile
One time for the mic, two times for the life
Three times I'ma bust a nut on yo wife
Three pump chump tryna catch it up right here
Gonna leave my nose fucked for the Buzz Lightyear

[Chorus: Whipstick, Mr. 8 Legz]
Whoa
God damn it, dude, fuck!
Said I wanna do cocaine
Yo, how much fuckin' cringe can you fit into a fuckin' song, guy
Like a whole lotta cocaine
That's not a unit of measurement, man
You need to give me something better than that
Tim Allen smuggled cocaine
Don't you dare talk about Home Improvement like that, dog
Bitch, I wanna do coke

[Bridge: Mr. 8 Legz, Whipstick]
Take a piss on Fries frame, I'm goin'-
Well, what the fuck? Is this my verse?
Yo, like, Legz, I said I wanted you to write the bridge
I got two verses and a hook
Oh, so all of a sudden, Mr "Don't tell me to go solo" has a solo song
If you're listening, skip this track
Man, that's real fucked up. All I needed was a goddamn bridge from you
Shut the fuck up
Like a drawbridge
And?
You can draw then make a drawbridge
Fuck that, dude
Like, to the next hook
You can draw unemployment after I break your fuckin' leg

[Chorus: Whipstick, Mr. 8 Legz]
Whoa
Oh my God
I wanna do cocaine
Is there even a fuckin' point in like trying to fuckin' tell you not to do that?
A whole lotta cocaine
I get that, man. That's what's up. I'm proud of you dude. Way to go
Tim Allen smuggled cocaine
Yo, and he was in Santa Clause
They needed that shit as background
Bitch, I wanna do coke

[Verse 2: Mr. 8 Legz]
Take a piss on Fries frame, I'm goin' on a bender
Stay lit like headlights if they had a temper (yeah)
Count white on the brain, Hannibal saltin' his dinner
In time to make my nose nice I'll fuckin' grind in the winter (Bitch)
Plug is dependable, yo, I found her on Tinder
And nothing is criminal but fuckin' around with the winter
If she don't give me head, she'll get to find out my trigger
And exit life the same way as the mother of Edmund Kemper
(Damn) Head spinnin' like your pet goldfish
Right after you got him in the bottom of the downstairs toilet
(More bitch) I can still feel my gums
Better give me what I want, this is mandatory fun
Now gimme your license, I'm flippin' this go-cart
Nose hairs lookin' like that fuckin' wig on Mozart
Wanna feel like this? I got you, I never bogart
Steady shootin' out coke-covered blow darts like yo

[Outro: Whipstick, Mr. 8 Legz]
Whoa, said I wanna do coke
I said I wanna do cocaine, I said I wanna do coke
Are you for fuckin' real right now?
I said I wanna do cocaine, I said I wanna do coke
Is this the outro? This is the outro?
I said I wanna do cocaine, I said I wanna do coke
You wanna argue with me over a fucking verse
I said I wanna do cocaine, I said I wanna do coke
But this is it
I said I wanna do cocaine, I said I wanna do coke
What do you wanna do?
I said I wanna do cocaine, I said I wanna do coke
You're full of shit. Get the fuck outta here, dude
I said I wanna do cocaine, I said I wanna do coke
You don't even do coke, man
I said I wanna do cocaine, I said I wanna do coke
You just sit on the fucking couch
I said I wanna do cocaine, yeah I wanna do coke
Little ADHD-ass motherfucker
I said I wanna do cocaine, I said I wanna do coke
Why don't you get some Adderall
I said I wanna do cocaine, yeah I wanna do coke
Jesus fuckin' Christ
I said I wanna do cocaine, I said I wanna do cocaine
Shut the fuck up, dude!
I said I wanna do cocaine, yeah I wanna do cocaine
Fuck, man! Call somebody
Yeah, I wanna do cocaine
Do somethin' other than keep saying it! Fuck! Shit!
I'm bringin' it back Rogaine
Co-o-o-o- Fuck! Now you have me doin' it!
Son of a bitch! Shit
I said I wanna do cocaine
God damn it, man, me too, but what the fuck do you have any?
Like a whole lotta cocaine
That doesn't tell me if you actually have any
You keep saying that shit
Tim Allen smuggled cocaine
Google actually fact-checked that shit
That's true, so sorry
Bitch I wanna do coke
Stupid-ass fuckin'-
Fuck your mother
Really? One last jab, huh? Fuck outta here
And your dad
Shut up, dude, just let it fade out