Absence

It was only a dream I swear
It did not happen as they tell you
It was just a fantasy
I was not living in that moment

If what I feel is not what I feel
How can I ever know what's real
Was I stillborn years ago
And is this absence all I'll know

I had thought that I could be
A part of something more than me
But now I finally understand
This wasn't meant to be

I must suffer this fate
Let the chemicals dictate
The face that I show to the crowd
The only life that I'm allowed
To live is a lie
To live is to lie

Suffocating in the absence of myself
Heaven help me
Heaven help me
If you hear me

You know I must suffer this fate
Let the chemicals dictate
The face that I show to the crowd
The only life that I'm allowed
To live in this fate
Let the chemicals dictate
The face that I show to the crowd
The only life that I'm allowed

To live is a lie
To live is to lie