Christmas Turkey Blues
Hey kid, why the long face
Is it 'cause Santa Clause is flying right over your place
You've been a bad kid all year
So quit you snivellin' sucker and wipe up them tears
You don't deserve a damn thing
You're not even cute and your attitude stinks
It must suck to be you
Nobody likes you so what can you do
You think you got problems kid, you think you got strife
But come each December do you fear for your life
I'm your turkey so your troubles are small
I'm stuffed on your table, I'm a tasty butterball
I've got the christmas turkey blues
If you got your necked ripped out then you'd have them too
I've got the christmas turkey blues
You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too
You sir, you look like heck
Didn't you get your Christmas bonus cheque
Or maybe your woman left you
Ripped your heart right out of your chest and spat on it too
Is that why you're wreaking of gin
You look dishevelled and there's drool on your chin
You thought that this love would laugh
But she said Merry Christmas baby and she booted your ass
Well that's tough for you mister, too bad about your ordeal
How about getting stuffed in the wintertime, see how you feel
I don't get to yank no bones or make me a wish
It won't be long til I'm just some scraps on a dish
I've got the christmas turkey blues
If your butt was stuffed and roasted then you'd have then too
I've got the christmas turkey blues
You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too