There's Just Nothing Better Than a Beard

I’ve sat upon a mountain with the wind blowing in my hair
I’ve watched the sun’s rays sparkle on the sea
I’ve walked through the forest and I’ve breathed the purest air
And I’ve felt warm soft sand ‘neath my feet
I’ve laid in the water and I’ve soared above the ground
I’ve sat in the silence and I’ve listened to the sounds
But through all that I have seen and done, one thing remains clear
There’s just nothing better than a beard

I’ve read all the books, I’ve written all the songs
I’ve conquered the world and walked upon the moon
I’ve met with kings and emperors, and often I have found
That I’ve had the best beard in the room
I've made love to every single woman I've met
I've stopped global warming and I've freed Tibet
But in spite of all I’ve loved, and all that I've held dear
There's just nothing better than a beard

On the day I died, I crossed to the other side
And in the beauty of heaven I stood
I sang with the angels, and I touched the face of God
Oh and I felt his beard, and it was good
And as I stood in his presence, the lord said to me
"Son, you must return to earth, for your work is not yet done
I send you with a message, for all mankind to hear
There’s just nothing better than a beard!"

There’s nothing better that a beard
Nothing better that a beard
Nothing better that a beard
Nothing better that a beard

Oh I've crossed a thousand oceans (nothing better that a beard)
I've walked a thousand lands (nothing better that a beard)
I've climbed the mountain ranges (nothing better that a beard)
Survived the desert sands
I've spoken every language (nothing better that a beard)
I’ve lived 1000 years (nothing better that a beard)
But the only thing I’ve learned is that there’s just nothing better than a beard

Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Nothing better than a beard
Nothing better than a beard
Nothing better than a beard

I’ve bathed in all the oils (nothing better that a beard)
I’ve tasted all the wines (nothing better that a beard)
I've answered all the questions (nothing better that a beard)
I've crossed the finish line (nothing better that a beard)
I've conquered all the evil (nothing better that a beard)
I’ve defeated every foe (nothing better that a beard)
But my facial hair will grow, and that’s all I need to know, oh, yeah

Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Nothing better than a beard
Nothing better than a beard
Nothing better than a beard

I just really love beards!