Receipt

Ripping from me is this haunting admission
So daunting
A complete jealousy of the recently dead
The deepest of all admirations, so foul
Of who’d choose to aim bullets
For the hinds of their heads

Have you ever tasted it?
Metallic barrel placed in it?
Do you possess the gall
To pain all those in life you’ve touched?

Failure, I renounce our tenure
This venture has drained me
I ask thee grant self murder’s bliss
My conscience has begged me
To end this horrendousness
Wrap rope so tightly ‘round my neck and twist

Suicide be my guide
The only thing I will get right in this life
My appeal shall not be denied
My place - now secured
My home - the other side

I never belonged here
I never did ask
If I could join this world collapsed
A hell hath awakened and now I choose sleep
So let this razor get the better of me

Suicide be my light
The only wrong I stand to right in this life
To the ear of the reaper confide
His blade offers mercy
May it tear me wide

I never belonged here
I never did ask
If I could join this world collapsed
My hell hath awakened and now I choose sleep
So let this gesture do the talking for me

Dear mother and father
Now look what you’ve made
More eager fodder
For the depth of a grave
For the sweet gift of life
You’ve both bestowed upon me
You’ll wish that you’d felt inclined
To keep the fucking receipt