Lucy Baines

[Intro]
(Across this mighty land of ours, each state has its birds and flowers
St. Louis has its Cardinals, and Baltimore its Orioles
And Washington D.C. too has a species of its very own
A high-breasted front-runner who makes every captive heart say
"I wish I might fly away with...")

[Verse 1]
Luci Baines
She is no Jackie, but then who complains?
She may be tacky, but she is the brains
Behind our foreign policy
Who else but Luci could it be?

[Verse 2]
Lately she
Has grown addicted to the royal "we"
She tolerates no impropriety
When Bobby Baker comes to tea
"It's been a pleasure to serve you, y'hear?"

[Verse 3]
Guess who all was there on my date with Luci Baines?
Twelve of Lynda's roommates
Eleven live reporters
Ten Texas Rangers
Nine Supreme Court judges
Eight Stingray salesmen
Seven Secret Service
Six geese a-layin'
Lyndon B. himself
Four beagles
Three congressmen
Two baptizing clergy
Luci Baines and me

[Verse 4]
Luci Baines
Just like her Pop, her popularity gains
She loves to sing out all those old refrains

[Verse 5]
Oh, those TV towers of Texas belong to Mom and me
You'll find no Texas real estate in the name of Lyndon B

[Verse 6]
The eyes of Bishop Pike are upon you
My pop can make U Thant say no

[Verse 7]
Pop said, "Tut-tut
We'll have to cut *clap*
Deep in the heart of taxes"

[Verse 8]
Luci Baines
Let other girls indulge, my girl abstains
But you should see her on the backs of trains
Why, she stands ten feet tall
Oh, Lady Bird is sweet
And Lynda Bird's a tweet *tweet*
But Luci Baines
You're the biggest bird of them all

[Outro]
Oh, what a bird!