Issues

Growing up, I remember plenty domestic issues
But, never questioned it, really 'cause it was steady ritual
It wasn't out of the ordinary to cry
So, when we went out grocery shopping, we'd purchase extra tissues

And every time a can of lager opened, it wasn't on occasion
But every day was when my father toasted
Had mi casa broken by lots of vodka dosage
Said "momma this feel normal", she said "it's not supposed to"

Would never call my home a toxic environment
Just mostly bad decisions and intoxicant viruses
Momma workin' double digit hour days and then daddy would cook us pasta
It wasn't just the Rotini spiraling

They said "don't follow those footsteps", but every step I took got my foot wet
The further that you walk the deeper that it gets
Uh....so hold your breath
I can't remember how to swim, it's getting to the neck

Fell in love a junior, started dating a senior
Built up a connection that got lost after three years
I went from happy living to depression so severe
So, I'd relieved the pain with hard prescriptions and free beers

Letter of resignation to ditch the day job
She spent the date of my birth with a new guy out at a bar
Yeah... she knew just how to break hearts
So, I just went and did the same to those who opened their arms

Was only focused on feeling hopeless
Finding fixes so frequent but staying broken
Waking up with strangers, but I would claim to know them
Bang then be braggadocios
Laugh when they had emotions
Actual saddest moments

I'm haunted by one's I ghosted
They only felt the thorns when I was handing out the roses
See, this stems back from when I was angry 'bout the old shit
So every tear that shed for me just fell into an ocean, the rain disposed it

I'd take my anger out, 4 AM in the house
I was alone making some crazy sounds, wishing I wasn't around.
Drinking an ounce, 40 particularly, I was crying and sucking it down
Drunkenly tweeting subliminal shit then I was falling asleep on the couch
Even the ground

Had all my limbs intact, but so torn apart
I told my ex tonight I die, don't send the family no cards
My mother came busting down the door like the swat, she said to "stop"
I ran out in a thunderstorm and tossed my phone in the yard, yeah

But, that was yesterday
I've gained some knowledge for the future and some extra weight
Still not 200, still gotta cut the bad for healthy sake
Cutback on my cousins when they desert me like some creme brulee
Y'all remember the escapades, getting together for festive days
4th of July at the river or when it was playing Nintendo games
Then we would separate like dark and light dirty clothes
I'm airing my dirty laundry but y'all isn't worth the soap

You deter-gents from your home
It hurts when you get disowned
Our grandpa's funeral service was cursed that you didn't show
This is the life we live, one where we get to suffer
The ones that we love will smother us til we turn different colors
I'll leave this shit in the gutter