Tech Support Guy

It took 15 seconds for the first call to come through
When the building lost the network on a Tuesday afternoon
Adam's already heading for the door
To the SEH server room on the tech support floor
Today's not turning out as planned
His cellphone's really getting jammed

There's a strategies meeting on the 43rd floor
Where the Powerpoint curtains ain't closin' no more
They can't reach the network or the public shared drive
And in the finance office it ain't worth being alive
The marketing manager's porn
Has frozen on his screen and his expression, well it's forlorn

And in the end they all just blame Adam
For a fault in Detroit, a hemisphere away!
But it's so easy to always blame Adam
For a seven point clusterfuck on a boring day

After a call queue that lasts a few aeons
With others on hold like the Thames-Barrier flow
Adam is told that "We've got a problem"
And he calls his manager to let the world know
But there ain't no outage in the states
Gonna be any relief to the fellow inmates

So in the end they all just blame Adam
For an unknown problem that they don't understand
"I've got no Google!!" they protest at Adam
"I need my Hotmail and Youtube to hand"

But he camps in the woods at the weekends
Where the cell signal can't call his name
He zorbs with his mates down some hillside
Where he's billions of miles from their blame
He does lighting for poets and rock bands
And he even gets into their songs
On weekdays he's the support guy
The one you blame when it all goes wrong

The system goes back up, but just before four
But Adam works on for half an hour more
'Cos nobody rang to say that everything's fine
But some twat hit the firebell, that's the end of the line
Adam has to empty out the floor
He's H&S for the area to add to the score

So in the end they all just blame Adam
For stalling their meetings to call out their names
He makes sure they're present but still they blame Adam
For cold tea and soft biscuits and solitaire games