Gospel According to Britney

In the beginning
When there was nothing
God said "Let there be rock"
Then he changed his mind and came up with me

Bowp! Bow bow bowp!

Then there was Moses
Turning sticks into snakes
Man, the drugs were good back then
If you burn enough bush you could part the Red Sea

Bowp! Bow bow bowp!

God said, "Let there be light
Let there be a stage
Wall-to-wall midriffs and ambiguous breast size"
You have the right
If you're underage you'll understand what this recording is reporting
It's the Gospel... According to Me

Then all this other stuff happened
I'm not clear on the facts -
Some sort of exodus
Must be a road trip with a coming of age

David and Goliath
Had some sort of romance, I think
In Soddom and Gomorrah
And they were turned into pillars of the community

Bowp! Bow bow bowp!

God said, "Let there be light
Let there be a stage
Wall-to-wall midriffs and ambiguous breast size"
You have the right
If you're underage you'll understand what this recording is reporting
It's the Gospel According to Me

Okay, time for the Latin stuff!

Arrriba!
(trumpet noises)

According to me...
Everybody wore rags but they didn't make it look good like I do
According to me...
Everybody was a virgin but they didn't make it look good like I do
According to me...
You didn't need to raise from the dead if you had decent management like I do
According to me...
According to me...

God said, "Let there be light
Let there be a stage
Wall-to-wall midriffs and ambiguous breast size"
You have the right
If you're underage you'll understand what this recording is reporting
It's the Gospel... aaaaaaccording to Me