The Ballad Of Floor Buffer Smurf

It's a happy old life being a smurf
We dont have a worry or care on the earth
We love all of the sights
And the sounds and the smells
Except for that dirty old Gargamel

Now the only imbalance I see in smurf land
Is there's only one female from west to the east (Lady Smurf)
Everyone's had her except Papa Smurf
Cos he's training to be a Catholic Priest

But Lady Smurf has decided to charge
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee
She's so busy fucking there's no time for me

Well I buff the floors of Smurf land you see
And they never made a figurine out of me
Im just Floor Buffer Smurf
I'm on-one in her eyes
So she's been hanging out with those popular guys

And theres so many smurf they sell at BP
She loves all the others so why not me
There's King Smurf and Skate Smurf
And Massive Cock Smurf
(which strangley they never made a figure out of but i could understand why she'd want to hang out with him)

But Lady Smurf has decided to charge
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee
She's so busy fucking there's no time for me

(Excuse me how much for a Smurf job
That'll be eight Smurfs
Now do you want me to Smurf you while I Smurf you
Actually no I just want you to Smurf me off)

Well my name finally made it to the top of her list
But I was out buffing some floors that day
My housemates name matched with the one on her list
So she went to Smurf him but he was gay

Shaggy!

But Lady Smurf has decided to charge
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee
She's so busy shagging, there's no time for me