Paradox

I said I wouldn't but I let the world affect me
Now I'm alone and kicking it into next week
I'm in my zone when venturing on my own
You motherfuckers are flaky I'm counting on y'all to test
me
So don't accept me requisite rudimentary
Wrecking the roots of river your regimen could pollute me
The line I'm walking is thinner than an anemic
And plus I'm high as the ego I can't believe I believe in
I got three homies I know and trust
and none of us ever minded that they don't notice us
But now it's different in Denver winters I'm shivering
Looking to lend a hand to another stranded civilian
Sniffling through the syphilis but you don't give a fuck dude
Forget impressions find a purpose through I love you
I'm not above you although that's what I thought
Shit I gotta rearrange the way I view this paradox
In this heaven that we're living in, wretchedness is relative
I relish in embellishment a pessimistic mess my vibe is venomous
A retrospecting sentimentalist everybody tells me I'd be better off benevolent
Well I did my best and heaven knows that I've tried
I'd rather be depressed then emancipated through lies
The less I'm living the more I'm willing to die
Hold my hand let me take you inside
(Does anyone remember who I am)