Paddy McGinty's Goat

Now Patrick McGinty, an Irishman of note
Fell in for a fortune, and he bought himself a goat
Say's he, "sure, of goat's milk I'm going to have me fill"
But when he brought the nanny home, he found it was a bill

All the young ladies who live in Killaloo
They're all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do
They each wear a bolster beneath the petticoat
And leave the rest to providence and Paddy McGinty's goat

Mrs Burke to her daughter said, "listen, Mary Jane
Who was the lad you were cuddling in the lane?
He'd long wiry whiskers a' hanging from his chin"
"'T was only Pat McGinty's goat," she answer'd with a grin

Then she went away from the village in disgrace
She came back with powder and paint upon her face
She'd rings on her fingers, and she wore a sable coat
And I'll bet your life she didn't get those from Paddy McGinty's goat

Now Norah McCarthy the knot was going to tie
She washed out her trousseau and hung it out to dry
Along came the goat and he saw the bits of white
And chewed up all her falderals, and on her wedding night

"Oh turn out the light quick!" she shouted out to Pat
For though l'm your bride, sure l'm not worth looking at
I had two of everything, I told you when I wrote
But now I've won another naught through Paddy McGinty's goat

Mickey Riley he went to the races t'other day
He won twenty dollars and shouted, "hip hooray"
He held up the note, shouting "look at what I've got"
The goat came up and grabbed at it and swallowed all the lot

"He's eaten me banknote," said Mickey, with the hump
They went for the doctor and they got a stomach pump
They pumped and they pumped for that twenty dollar note
But all they got was ninepence out of Paddy McGinty's goat

Now old Paddy's goat had a wonderous appetite
And one day for breakfast he ate some dynamite
A big box of matches he swallowed all serene
And out he went and swallowed up a quarter paraffin

He sat by the fireside, he didn't give a hang
He swallowed a spark and exploded with a bang
So if you go to heaven you can bet a dollar note
That the angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty's goat