Nothing Hurts More Than Loving Me

My chest hurts
I'm falling down the same rabbit hole
That I was lost in
Hope I find my way out
And I can't stop stalling
Maybe if I had one more drink I would calm down
My head's exhausting
And I don't wanna deal with it
And you don't wanna deal with me
I've been told nothing hurts more than loving me
And you don't wanna feel that way
And I don't wanna feel that pain
Rather you hate me now
Get it out of the way
You don't wanna deal with me
And I don't wanna feel that way
If it hurts loving me
Get it out of the way
Everything slowed down so I sped it up
Found some clarity and I threw it all out
Thought I had a plan but I made it all up
Just going along til I mess it all up
My heart strings are pulling, it's aching
I used to have drive and it's fading
Lately I feel like I'm wasting away
I know nobody's waiting
Love is blind but I see why loving me is bad
A stomped out heart inside a girl with no real plan
With a past so dark that she just can't understand
Who would ever wanna hold these shaky hands
I don't wanna deal with it
And you don't wanna deal with me
I've been told nothing hurts more than loving me
You don't wanna feel that way
And I don't wanna feel that pain
Rather you hate me now
Get it out of the way