I Could Not Plan This

Yeah an idle mind is where the demons roam
Last night I met fear, doubt, hurt, hate
Pain told me, "If you don't change
Then we don't go" they'll give us life
And then we don't grow
They got me thinkin'
"Am I really in control now?"
This whole town doesn't really
Feel like home now
My family been sayin', "Mark
You gotta slow it down"
Out on a date, she say
"You really on your phone?"
"Wow" livin' through my phone now
I been feelin' disconnected
Everyone around me, they would never get it
Do they love me 'cause I'm hurtin'
Or they get the message?
Only love me when I'm workin'
'cause they want percentage
I remember late night writin' here
To tell you the truth
Back when I was too broke
Servin' tables just to pay for a booth
Back when really, I had nothin' to lose
Back when ugh! Fuck it
Brace yourself for the news
Last year I saw my dad pass away
Right in front of my eyes
A couple fake friends showed me
Who they were in disguise
My ex-girl told me nothin', but lies
So maybe I was just in love with
Who she was in my mind
I been lost inside my mind lately
I been losin' track of time lately
It's like I barely know who I'm lately
I been prayin' for a sign lately
I been yellin' at the sky lately
My only question, that was "Why?" lately
Why is it I'm weak if I
Show the people I feel?
And why is it they told me that
Time is all that can heal?
When it's I who needs to heal me
Been searchin' for somethin' real
And I know that we attracted
The energy that we deal
I been overthinkin', overthinkin'
And nowadays I find 'em
Over-drinkin' on a weekend
The people yellin'
"Where is Mark? 'Cause we
Fuckin' need him!"
See, this is somewhere you can go when you
Feel like there's nothin' else
To believe in i never could plan the doubt
I never could plan the pain
I never could plan the number
Of people screamin' our name
I never could plan the love
I never could plan the hate
I never could plan the love would
Turn into hate when it's fake
I never could plan the fear
I never could plan the hurt
I never could plan that I will
Be helpin' people with words
I never could plan the heart that
Was put inside of my chest
I'm a human here with a vision, no
Less or more than the rest, ahh