One Quarter Viking, Three Quarter’s Pussy

Long swords, Viking ships
Endless battles and tales of Yore
My Nordic ancestors
Had battle axes and looked like Thor

Never swung a sword
Or a battle axe in my life
But I sure as hell
Have gotten a mani-pedi with my wife

I'm a mess
My Nordic folks would kill me
Because I might be
One quarter Viking, three quarters pussy

These sons of Odin
Fought bears and fucking conquered shit

I'm fat and if I held a sword
I'd probably stab my tits

I'd be so raped
And pillaged in my Viking village
If I was chased
I'd get caught and blood would spillage

I have pot tits
Amon Amarth would hate me
Because I ma be
One quarter Viking, three quarters pussy

I'm a fat shit
My grandma would hate me
Because I might be
One quarter Viking, three quarters pussy

On a Viking longship
I wouldn't last an hour
Any word of battle
I'd shit my pants and cower

I'm a mess
My Nordic folks would hate me
Because I may be
One quarter Viking, three quarters pussy

I'm so fucked
My Nordic folks would kill me
Because I may be
One quarter Viking, three quarters pussy

I'm a fat shit
My grandma would hate me
Because I might be
One quarter Viking, three quarters pussy