THE SURGEON & THE THERAPIST.
[Verse 1]
Pandemonium erupted, chaos at the scene
Suicide in the cards, maniacal thoughts
Anxiety often busting at the seams
Blinded by losses, biding my time
Biting my tongue through all my prior hardships
Plotting my grind, though I lost my mind
Cause I let you die, and all of it's costly
Calling you time after time after time
Cause when I was down, you kept me hoisted off of the ground
So pardon my tears
Death could never do us part, but we forgot about life
And us parting ways was one of my fears
No way to explain all that I feel
Never feel like еnough, and today is the same
So take all my pain, multiply it by yеars
I'm watching us sink and it's grinding my gears
With all the abuse that they put me through, best friend, how can they crack open bibles
When all my life, I dealt with them looking me in the eyes saying they hate being lied to
When I was good, all I ever really got in return was them being spiteful
Misunderstood, but always stood by you
I've seen a eyeful
Cause you spent your whole life having to be strong
With everything going on, I really had to inform you that it's okay not to be
Just got to know when, feels like a no win
Said you would've died way sooner if not for me
But I don't feel a difference, cause I need you here
Let your demons kill you fore you made a killing
Last message you sent was ILY
My heart's beating still, and yet I hate the feeling
Never figured that you meant it was our goodbye
Guess I'll go on without a feeling left
Maybe get on my knees and pray to God I die
Because you knew I was too afraid to kill myself
Who do I talk to now that you're gone?
You were my soulmate
My therapist, but you needed one of your own
And my apathy for being alone is clear as day
No point in wiping tears away when they aren't prone to stopping
[Hook]
The only person that I'd trust with my back turned and my eyes closed
Relieved when the bridges burn, grown tired of taking the high road
Don't leave me, I need you
You leading me was enough to see me through
The only person that I'd trust with my back turned and my eyes closed
Relieved when the bridges burn, grown tired of taking the high road
Don't leave me, I need you
You leading me was enough to see me through
[Verse 2]
Pandemonium erupted, chaos at the scene
Suicide in the cards, maniacal thoughts
In my darkest of times, all I needed was Sunshine
But now that you're gone, there's no logical reason I've got to go on
Deep inside, I'm just seething cause I know the harm they subjected you to
Family a mess, they neglected you too
Exes are too
True, they had a good girl, but they were abusing you
Stomping them out is better than accusing, huh
Stuck in denial, sociopathic ways
Foot so far in their mouths, it's crushing their uvulas
All of my rage and depression outweighing about a decade of the lessons I learned
All of the breaks and regression, appeasing pieces of manure
Bet they have a gurney waiting
What's the use?
Bundle all my anger with my couple skeletons
Don't know how to properly mourn
Animosity flowing like the calmest river, yet impossibly qualm
My life is a storm, no signs of it slowing with the hole I'm digging
All the rape, self hate you'd hold within
Mental breaks over race pour in til its overloading my brain
I'm sewing gowns for the reaper
Knowing you, I know you wouldn't want me to harm your abusers
You just wanted peace, but it seems to me I was never truly there to warn your intruders
And maybe it wasn't my place
But to know you felt as if your life was a waste
To go out that way is something I could never brace for
Karma, I wish I could serve a plate full today
Accountability's important, but I know it'd break a couple folks to take some
Stuck in denial
Relatives were always just a tad quicker than the wisdom that chased them
Maybe my anger overcompensates for the places I lack in
Emotionally, I'm a void yet passionate
Hoping I wake up annoyed, yet happy to see another message from you
You and RiRi in the same year, a sense of failure is filling my brain
A clear train of thought when I'm losing my grip
Never be alone was something we kept saying
Here we go again, instead of us, it's just me
And folks say move on, as if it's gone help
Know you spent your adolescence trying to fix me
But ended up too worn out to fix yourself
[Hook]
The only person that I'd trust with my back turned and my eyes closed
Sometimes love ain't enough to keep the love of your life alive though
Don't leave me, I need you
If you leave me, then I leave too
The only person that I'd trust with my back turned and my eyes closed
Sometimes love ain't enough to keep the love of your life alive though
Don't leave me, I need you
If you leave me, then I leave too