Speeding This Evening

Wake up every day brain wieghed down with depressing shit
Get myself out of bed and all i have for breakfast is
Two cups of tea a handful of peppermints
A quatet of weed and three grams of amphetamines

Then i sit down on my bed and get obsessive with
And old jazz song a subject and a predicate
Think up some jokes about my life and what a mess it is
Write about it then come down with opiate sedatives

Some call me an addict thats putting it lightly
Im plauged not to say anything politely
Im getting stressed and livid trying to figure out why these
Dicks call me insane for all the things that i speak

Lately im really starting to think i might be
Simply because you might for instance find me
Looking terrible when im limping slightly
With heroin or amphetamines inside me

Cos speeding is keeping my feelings from seeping
Out when im around all my enemies now
Meaning this evening recieveing a bleeding mouth with teeth knocked out
Won't happen till i come down

I take seven grams of speed
Stick each one in a line
Then add seven more to make it even each side
Itd take another seven to get on a level of mine
So thats twenty one lines all sniffed up at one time

Try survivng my life
And analyzing my mind
Youll identify why
I like to hide behind lines
But dispite the strife im more surprised that im alive than when lightning strikes twice on a night with bright skies

If you had braved half the shit that i have lived through
Itd maybe explain all my substance misuse
Incarcerated as a teen i literally missed youth
And it made me ashamed in more ways than ill admit to

When im sober im depressed aware reality is true
So i slash away at my chest cut my arms and my wrists too
But its easy to supress my most horrid of issues
When my only source of stress is which nostril to stiff through

And speeding is keeping my feelings from seeping
Out when im around all my enemies now
Meaning this evening recieveing a bleeding mouth with teeth knocked out
Won't happen till i come down

Now try and picture for a second all the damage it does
To grow up neglected both mum and dad are on drugs
But your mother acts aggressive so they soon split up
Then your dad gets arrested so your forced to live with a cunt

Who calls herself mistress and sells herself in clubs
So your home is full of sex toys whips and men she fucks
Then when youre 8 years old the social workers seen enough
So you get taken into care where people tease and beat you up

And thats just the begining my life got way worse from there
Dont think for one minute that i was even prepared
When i got locked up in Lowther while i still had long hair
I was found not guilty and went back into care

My lifes a total waste ill admit it and yeah
With out amphetamines itd be misery squared
Id be kicking a chair so i could swing from the air when i string up from the ledge of the window upstairs

But speeding is keeping my feelings from seeping
Out when im around all my enemies now
Meaning this evening recieveing a bleeding mouth with teeth knocked out
Won't happen till i come down