Asshole [Clean]

Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain
An asshole, that role I think I succeeded fulfillin'
But don't think I ever stopped
To think that I was speaking to children
Everything was happening so fast
It was like I blinked, sold three million
Then it all went blank, all I remember is feelin' ridiculous
'Cause I was getting sick of this feelin'
Like I am always under attack, man
I could have stacked my sh- list to the ceilin'
Women dishin' but really thinking
"If anyone ever talks to one of my little girls
Like this I would kill him"

Guess I'm a little bit of a hypocrite when I'm rippin' sh-
But since when did this many people ever give a sh-
What I had to say? It's just my opinion
If it contradicts how I'm livin', put a di- in your rear end
That's why every time you mentioned a lyric
I thanked you for it, for drawing more attention toward it
'Cause it gave me an enormous platform
I'm flattered you thought I was that important
But you can't ignore the fact that I fought for the respect
And battled for it, mad awards, had GLAAD annoyed
Atta-boy, they told me to slow down, I'd just zone out
Good luck tryin' to convince a blonde
It's like telling Gwen Stefan that she sold out
'Cause I was tryin' to leave, No Doubt
In anyone's mind one day I'd go down in history
Think they know now, because everybody knows

Everybody knows that you're just an asshole
Everywhere that you go
People wanna go home, everyone knows
Everybody knows, so don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows, everyone knows

Thanks for the support, asshole
Thanks for the support, ass

Quit actin' salty, I was countin' on you to count me out
Ask Asher Roth when he round about
Dissed me to shout me out
Thought I was history, but goddamn, honky
That compliment's like backhanding a donkey
Good way to get your ass socked in the mouth
Nah, I'm off it
But what the fu- is all this trash-talkin' about?
The fight was fixed, I'm back and you can't stop me
You knocked me down, I went down for the count
I fell, but the fans caught me, and now
You're gonna have to beat the fu-in' pants off me
To take my belt, word to Pacquiao
Momma said there ain't nothin' else to talk about
Better go in that ring and knock 'em out
Or you better not come out
It's poetry in motion
Like Freddie Roach when he's quotin' Shakespeare
So what if insults are revoltin'?
Even Helen Keller knows life stinks
You think it's a joke 'til you're bullet-riddled
But you should give little sh- what I think
This whole world is a mess
Gotta have a goddamn vest on your chest
And a Glock just to go watch Batman
Who needs a test to testicles? Not that man
Half of you don't got the guts, intestinal blockage
Rest of you got lap bands
Stuck to this motto before they put bath salts
In all those water bottles in Colorado
So get lost, Waldo, my soul's escapin'
Through this asshole that is gapin'
A black hole, and I'm swallowin' this track whole
Better pack toilet paper, but I'm taking no crap, ho
Here I go down the Bat Pole
And I'm changing back into that old maniac
In fact there they go tryin' to dip out the back-door, retreatin'
'Cause everybody knows

Everybody knows that you're just an asshole
Everywhere that you go
People wanna go home, everyone knows
Everybody knows, so don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows, everyone knows

Holy mackerel, I'm the biggest jerk on the planet Earth
I smacked a girl off the mechanical bull at a tractor pull (ah)
For thinkin' we had some magnetic pull
Then screamed "ICP in this bi-
How do fu-in' magnets work?"
'Cause you're attractive, but we ain't attractable
Hate to be dramatical, but I'm not romantical
I'm making up words so you can understandable, it's tragical
Thinkin' some magical sh-'s gonna happen, that ain't practical
You crackin' a joke, it's laughable
'Cause me and love's like a bad combination
I keep them feelings locked in a vault
So it's safe to say I'm uncrackable
My heart is truly guarded, full body armor
bi-, you just need a helmet
'Cause if you think you're special, you're retarded
Thinkin' you're one of a kind
Like you got some platinum vagina
You're a train wreck, I got a one-track mind
Shorty, you're fine, but you sort of remind me of a 49er
'Cause you been a gold digger since you was a minor
Been tryna hunt me down like a dog
'Cause you're on my ass, but you can't get a cent
'Cause all of my spare time is spent
On my nose in this binder, so don't bother tryin'
Only women that I love are my daughters
But sometimes I rhyme
And it sounds like I forget I'm a father, and I push it farther
So, Father, forgive me if I forget to draw the line
It's apparent, I shouldn't have been a parent
I'll never grow up, so to hell with your parents
And motherfu-in' Father Time, it ain't never gonna stop
A pessimist who transformed to an optimist in his prime
So even if I'm half-dead, I'm half alive
Poured my half empty glass in a cup
So now my cup has runneth over
And I'm 'bout to set it on you like a mothafu-in' coaster
I'm going back to what got me here, yeah, cocky
And can't knock being rude off, so fear not, my dear
And dry up your teardrops, I'm here
White America's mirror, so don't feel awkward or weird
If you stare at me and see yourself, because you're one too
Shouldn't be a shock, because everybody knows

Everybody knows that you're just an asshole
Everywhere that you go
People wanna go home, everyone knows
Everybody knows, so don't pretend to be nice
There's no place you can hide
You are just an asshole
Everyone knows, everyone knows