The Book of 2D

During the pirate attack on Plastic Beach
2D hid in his underwater quarters unwittingly
He'd made himself prey to a
Far fiercer foe: a great white
Whale known as Massive Dick
(weirdly, no relation to Moby) the blubbery
Beast swallowed 2D in one bite
And swam into the deep

But a lifetime spent eating
Ocean garbage – and
Now 2D – took it's toll on Massive, and he
Died his carcass washed up
On a desert island, where
2D was finally free to die of starvation
Due to a total lack of survival
Skills unable even to catch crabs
(which was more Murdoc's forte)
2D had no option but
To eat his former host rancid
Whale blubber for breakfast
Lunch and dinner with a side of sand

Several months later
2D spotted a plane flying along the
Coast moved to tears by this beacon of hope
He set off in it's
Direction twenty-three minutes
Later he was in the middle of
A full-scale beach rave it
Turns 2D wasn't marooned
At all he had in fact landed on
Guadalupe, off the Mexican coast
2D joined the beach party, ate some
Strange tasting brownies
And came third in the wet T-shirt contest

As he claimed his prize
2D had a eureka moment he would have a
Gap year and find himself it turned
Out finding himself was really easy
– he was right there
But he stayed the rest of the year anyway
Until he got sacked from
His job weaving friendship
Bracelets it was time to fly home

At Heathrow
A man at arrivals held up a sign
Saying 'Wanker' 2D followed him to
His car, which drove him to West London
Where he was reunited with Murdoc
Russel and Noodle gorillaz were back