Marshall B. III Mathers
I think once I took my first Vicodin, it was just like, this feeling of, "Ah"
You know, like everything was not only mellow, but didn't feel any pain
It just didn't, it just kind of numbed things
I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem
I just remember likin' it more and more
People tried to tell me that I had a problem
I would say, "Get that fuckin' person out of here, I can't believe they said that shit to me
They know nothin' about my fuckin' life, are they out of their fuckin' mind?"
I'm not out there shootin' heroin
I'm not out there fuckin', you know, puttin' coke up my nose
I'm not smokin' crack"
You're struggling with the argument of
Do you have a problem, or do you not have a problem?
Can you control it, or can you not?
And I literally thought I could control it
You're taking things that people are giving you that
You don't even know what the fuck they are
They look like a pill
And they look, they're shaped like something that you take, so you take it, you know?
Xanax, Valium, tomato-tomato
You know what I mean? It's the same thing
It's all in the same family, fuck it, take it
Had I had got to the hospital about two hours later, I would've died
My organs were shutting down, my liver, kidneys, everything
They were gonna have to put me on dialysis, they didn't think I was gonna make it
My bottom was gonna be death, within a month, I had relapsed
And shot right back up to the same amount of pills that I was taking
I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day, like
I'm gonna fucking die
Like, I'm, I'm lookin' at my kids, and I need to be here for this
Coming off of everything, I literally was up twenty-four hours a day for three weeks straight
And I mean not sleeping, not even nodding off for a, a fucking minute
Like, I was literally just up, like, looking at the TV
I had to regain motor skills, I had to regain talking skills
It's been a, a learning process, like, it's been, I'm growing
I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be naturally happy
Or naturally function, or be just enjoying life in general
Without being on something
So, I would say that to, to anybody that it, it does get better
You know? It just, it does
I think once I took my first Vicodin, it was just like, this feeling of, "Ah"
Je pense qu'une fois que j'ai pris mon premier Vicodin, c'était juste comme, ce sentiment de, "Ah"
You know, like everything was not only mellow, but didn't feel any pain
Tu sais, comme si tout n'était pas seulement doux, mais je ne ressentais aucune douleur
It just didn't, it just kind of numbed things
Ça ne l'était tout simplement pas, ça engourdissait juste les choses
I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem
Je ne sais pas exactement à quel moment cela a commencé à être un problème
I just remember likin' it more and more
Je me souviens juste l'avoir de plus en plus aimé
People tried to tell me that I had a problem
Les gens ont essayé de me dire que j'avais un problème
I would say, "Get that fuckin' person out of here, I can't believe they said that shit to me
Je dirais, "Faites sortir cette putain de personne d'ici, je ne peux pas croire qu'ils m'aient dit cette merde
They know nothin' about my fuckin' life, are they out of their fuckin' mind?"
Ils ne savent rien de ma putain de vie, sont-ils hors de leur putain d'esprit ?"
I'm not out there shootin' heroin
Je ne suis pas là à me shooter à l'héroïne
I'm not out there fuckin', you know, puttin' coke up my nose
Je ne suis pas là à foutre, tu sais, de la coke dans mon nez
I'm not smokin' crack"
Je ne fume pas du crack"
You're struggling with the argument of
Tu luttes avec l'argument de
Do you have a problem, or do you not have a problem?
As-tu un problème, ou n'as-tu pas de problème ?
Can you control it, or can you not?
Peux-tu le contrôler, ou ne peux-tu pas ?
And I literally thought I could control it
Et je pensais vraiment que je pouvais le contrôler
You're taking things that people are giving you that
Tu prends des choses que les gens te donnent que
You don't even know what the fuck they are
Tu ne sais même pas ce que c'est
They look like a pill
Ils ressemblent à une pilule
And they look, they're shaped like something that you take, so you take it, you know?
Et ils ressemblent, ils sont en forme de quelque chose que tu prends, alors tu le prends, tu sais ?
Xanax, Valium, tomato-tomato
Xanax, Valium, tomate-tomate
You know what I mean? It's the same thing
Tu sais ce que je veux dire ? C'est la même chose
It's all in the same family, fuck it, take it
C'est tout dans la même famille, merde, prends-le
Had I had got to the hospital about two hours later, I would've died
Si j'étais arrivé à l'hôpital environ deux heures plus tard, je serais mort
My organs were shutting down, my liver, kidneys, everything
Mes organes se fermaient, mon foie, mes reins, tout
They were gonna have to put me on dialysis, they didn't think I was gonna make it
Ils allaient devoir me mettre sous dialyse, ils ne pensaient pas que j'allais m'en sortir
My bottom was gonna be death, within a month, I had relapsed
Mon fond était la mort, en un mois, j'avais rechuté
And shot right back up to the same amount of pills that I was taking
Et je suis remonté directement à la même quantité de pilules que je prenais
I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day, like
Je me souviens juste de me promener dans ma maison et de penser tous les jours, comme
I'm gonna fucking die
Je vais mourir
Like, I'm, I'm lookin' at my kids, and I need to be here for this
Comme, je, je regarde mes enfants, et j'ai besoin d'être là pour ça
Coming off of everything, I literally was up twenty-four hours a day for three weeks straight
En sortant de tout, j'étais littéralement debout vingt-quatre heures par jour pendant trois semaines d'affilée
And I mean not sleeping, not even nodding off for a, a fucking minute
Et je veux dire sans dormir, pas même un hochement de tête pour une, une putain de minute
Like, I was literally just up, like, looking at the TV
Comme, j'étais littéralement juste debout, comme, regardant la télé
I had to regain motor skills, I had to regain talking skills
J'ai dû retrouver des compétences motrices, j'ai dû retrouver des compétences de parole
It's been a, a learning process, like, it's been, I'm growing
C'est un processus d'apprentissage, comme, c'est, je grandis
I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be naturally happy
Je ne pouvais tout simplement pas croire que quelqu'un puisse être naturellement heureux
Or naturally function, or be just enjoying life in general
Ou fonctionner naturellement, ou simplement profiter de la vie en général
Without being on something
Sans être sous quelque chose
So, I would say that to, to anybody that it, it does get better
Alors, je dirais à n'importe qui que ça, ça s'améliore
You know? It just, it does
Tu sais ? Ça, ça s'améliore
I think once I took my first Vicodin, it was just like, this feeling of, "Ah"
Acho que uma vez que tomei meu primeiro Vicodin, foi como, esse sentimento de, "Ah"
You know, like everything was not only mellow, but didn't feel any pain
Sabe, como se tudo não só estivesse tranquilo, mas eu não sentisse nenhuma dor
It just didn't, it just kind of numbed things
Simplesmente não sentia, apenas meio que anestesiava as coisas
I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem
Não sei exatamente em que ponto começou a ser um problema
I just remember likin' it more and more
Só me lembro de gostar cada vez mais
People tried to tell me that I had a problem
As pessoas tentaram me dizer que eu tinha um problema
I would say, "Get that fuckin' person out of here, I can't believe they said that shit to me
Eu diria, "Tire essa pessoa daqui, não acredito que ela disse isso para mim
They know nothin' about my fuckin' life, are they out of their fuckin' mind?"
Elas não sabem nada sobre a minha vida, estão loucas?"
I'm not out there shootin' heroin
Eu não estou por aí injetando heroína
I'm not out there fuckin', you know, puttin' coke up my nose
Eu não estou por aí, sabe, cheirando cocaína
I'm not smokin' crack"
Eu não estou fumando crack"
You're struggling with the argument of
Você está lutando com o argumento de
Do you have a problem, or do you not have a problem?
Você tem um problema, ou não tem um problema?
Can you control it, or can you not?
Você pode controlá-lo, ou não?
And I literally thought I could control it
E eu literalmente pensei que poderia controlá-lo
You're taking things that people are giving you that
Você está tomando coisas que as pessoas estão te dando que
You don't even know what the fuck they are
Você nem sabe o que são
They look like a pill
Parecem uma pílula
And they look, they're shaped like something that you take, so you take it, you know?
E parecem, têm a forma de algo que você toma, então você toma, sabe?
Xanax, Valium, tomato-tomato
Xanax, Valium, tomate-tomate
You know what I mean? It's the same thing
Sabe o que eu quero dizer? É a mesma coisa
It's all in the same family, fuck it, take it
Está tudo na mesma família, foda-se, tome
Had I had got to the hospital about two hours later, I would've died
Se eu tivesse chegado ao hospital cerca de duas horas depois, eu teria morrido
My organs were shutting down, my liver, kidneys, everything
Meus órgãos estavam falhando, meu fígado, rins, tudo
They were gonna have to put me on dialysis, they didn't think I was gonna make it
Eles teriam que me colocar em diálise, eles não achavam que eu ia sobreviver
My bottom was gonna be death, within a month, I had relapsed
Minha ruína seria a morte, dentro de um mês, eu tive uma recaída
And shot right back up to the same amount of pills that I was taking
E voltei a tomar a mesma quantidade de pílulas que estava tomando
I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day, like
Lembro-me de andar pela minha casa e pensar todos os dias, tipo
I'm gonna fucking die
Eu vou morrer
Like, I'm, I'm lookin' at my kids, and I need to be here for this
Tipo, eu, eu estou olhando para meus filhos, e preciso estar aqui por isso
Coming off of everything, I literally was up twenty-four hours a day for three weeks straight
Saindo de tudo, eu literalmente fiquei acordado vinte e quatro horas por dia durante três semanas seguidas
And I mean not sleeping, not even nodding off for a, a fucking minute
E eu quero dizer sem dormir, nem mesmo cochilando por um, um minuto
Like, I was literally just up, like, looking at the TV
Tipo, eu estava literalmente acordado, tipo, olhando para a TV
I had to regain motor skills, I had to regain talking skills
Eu tive que recuperar habilidades motoras, tive que recuperar habilidades de fala
It's been a, a learning process, like, it's been, I'm growing
Tem sido um, um processo de aprendizado, tipo, tem sido, eu estou crescendo
I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be naturally happy
Eu simplesmente não conseguia acreditar que alguém pudesse ser naturalmente feliz
Or naturally function, or be just enjoying life in general
Ou funcionar naturalmente, ou simplesmente desfrutar da vida em geral
Without being on something
Sem estar sob o efeito de algo
So, I would say that to, to anybody that it, it does get better
Então, eu diria isso para, para qualquer um que, que melhora
You know? It just, it does
Sabe? Apenas, melhora
I think once I took my first Vicodin, it was just like, this feeling of, "Ah"
Creo que una vez que tomé mi primer Vicodin, fue como, este sentimiento de, "Ah"
You know, like everything was not only mellow, but didn't feel any pain
Sabes, como si todo no solo estuviera tranquilo, sino que no sentía ningún dolor
It just didn't, it just kind of numbed things
Simplemente no lo hacía, simplemente adormecía las cosas
I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem
No sé en qué momento exactamente empezó a ser un problema
I just remember likin' it more and more
Solo recuerdo que me gustaba cada vez más
People tried to tell me that I had a problem
La gente intentó decirme que tenía un problema
I would say, "Get that fuckin' person out of here, I can't believe they said that shit to me
Yo diría, "Saca a esa maldita persona de aquí, no puedo creer que me hayan dicho esa mierda
They know nothin' about my fuckin' life, are they out of their fuckin' mind?"
No saben nada sobre mi maldita vida, ¿están fuera de su maldita mente?"
I'm not out there shootin' heroin
No estoy ahí fuera inyectándome heroína
I'm not out there fuckin', you know, puttin' coke up my nose
No estoy ahí fuera, sabes, metiéndome coca por la nariz
I'm not smokin' crack"
No estoy fumando crack"
You're struggling with the argument of
Estás luchando con el argumento de
Do you have a problem, or do you not have a problem?
¿Tienes un problema, o no tienes un problema?
Can you control it, or can you not?
¿Puedes controlarlo, o no puedes?
And I literally thought I could control it
Y literalmente pensé que podía controlarlo
You're taking things that people are giving you that
Estás tomando cosas que la gente te da que
You don't even know what the fuck they are
Ni siquiera sabes qué mierda son
They look like a pill
Parecen una pastilla
And they look, they're shaped like something that you take, so you take it, you know?
Y parecen, tienen la forma de algo que tomas, así que lo tomas, ¿sabes?
Xanax, Valium, tomato-tomato
Xanax, Valium, tomate-tomate
You know what I mean? It's the same thing
¿Sabes a qué me refiero? Es lo mismo
It's all in the same family, fuck it, take it
Todo está en la misma familia, a la mierda, tómalo
Had I had got to the hospital about two hours later, I would've died
Si hubiera llegado al hospital unas dos horas más tarde, habría muerto
My organs were shutting down, my liver, kidneys, everything
Mis órganos estaban fallando, mi hígado, riñones, todo
They were gonna have to put me on dialysis, they didn't think I was gonna make it
Iban a tener que ponerme en diálisis, no pensaban que lo lograría
My bottom was gonna be death, within a month, I had relapsed
Mi límite iba a ser la muerte, en un mes, había recaído
And shot right back up to the same amount of pills that I was taking
Y volví a la misma cantidad de pastillas que estaba tomando
I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day, like
Recuerdo simplemente caminar por mi casa y pensar todos los días, como
I'm gonna fucking die
Voy a morir
Like, I'm, I'm lookin' at my kids, and I need to be here for this
Como, estoy, estoy mirando a mis hijos, y necesito estar aquí para esto
Coming off of everything, I literally was up twenty-four hours a day for three weeks straight
Al dejar todo, literalmente estuve despierto veinticuatro horas al día durante tres semanas seguidas
And I mean not sleeping, not even nodding off for a, a fucking minute
Y no me refiero a dormir, ni siquiera a cabecear por un, un maldito minuto
Like, I was literally just up, like, looking at the TV
Como, estaba literalmente despierto, como, mirando la televisión
I had to regain motor skills, I had to regain talking skills
Tuve que recuperar habilidades motoras, tuve que recuperar habilidades para hablar
It's been a, a learning process, like, it's been, I'm growing
Ha sido un, un proceso de aprendizaje, como, ha sido, estoy creciendo
I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be naturally happy
Simplemente no podía creer que alguien pudiera ser naturalmente feliz
Or naturally function, or be just enjoying life in general
O funcionar naturalmente, o simplemente disfrutar de la vida en general
Without being on something
Sin estar en algo
So, I would say that to, to anybody that it, it does get better
Así que, diría eso a, a cualquiera que, que mejora
You know? It just, it does
¿Sabes? Simplemente, mejora
I think once I took my first Vicodin, it was just like, this feeling of, "Ah"
Ich denke, als ich meine erste Vicodin nahm, war es einfach so, dieses Gefühl von "Ah"
You know, like everything was not only mellow, but didn't feel any pain
Weißt du, als ob alles nicht nur entspannt war, sondern ich fühlte keinen Schmerz
It just didn't, it just kind of numbed things
Es hat einfach nur, es hat einfach Dinge betäubt
I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem
Ich weiß nicht genau, wann es zu einem Problem wurde
I just remember likin' it more and more
Ich erinnere mich nur, dass es mir immer mehr gefiel
People tried to tell me that I had a problem
Leute versuchten mir zu sagen, dass ich ein Problem hatte
I would say, "Get that fuckin' person out of here, I can't believe they said that shit to me
Ich würde sagen: "Schmeiß diese verdammte Person raus, ich kann nicht glauben, dass sie mir so einen Scheiß erzählt hat
They know nothin' about my fuckin' life, are they out of their fuckin' mind?"
Sie wissen nichts über mein verdammtes Leben, sind sie aus dem verdammten Verstand?"
I'm not out there shootin' heroin
Ich bin nicht da draußen und schieße Heroin
I'm not out there fuckin', you know, puttin' coke up my nose
Ich bin nicht da draußen und ziehe mir Koks durch die Nase
I'm not smokin' crack"
Ich rauche kein Crack"
You're struggling with the argument of
Du kämpfst mit dem Argument
Do you have a problem, or do you not have a problem?
Hast du ein Problem oder hast du kein Problem?
Can you control it, or can you not?
Kannst du es kontrollieren oder kannst du es nicht?
And I literally thought I could control it
Und ich dachte wirklich, ich könnte es kontrollieren
You're taking things that people are giving you that
Du nimmst Dinge, die dir Leute geben, von denen
You don't even know what the fuck they are
Du nicht einmal weißt, was zum Teufel sie sind
They look like a pill
Sie sehen aus wie eine Pille
And they look, they're shaped like something that you take, so you take it, you know?
Und sie sehen so aus, als ob man sie nehmen sollte, also nimmst du sie, weißt du?
Xanax, Valium, tomato-tomato
Xanax, Valium, Tomate-Tomate
You know what I mean? It's the same thing
Weißt du was ich meine? Es ist das Gleiche
It's all in the same family, fuck it, take it
Es ist alles in der gleichen Familie, scheiß drauf, nimm es
Had I had got to the hospital about two hours later, I would've died
Wäre ich etwa zwei Stunden später ins Krankenhaus gekommen, wäre ich gestorben
My organs were shutting down, my liver, kidneys, everything
Meine Organe versagten, meine Leber, Nieren, alles
They were gonna have to put me on dialysis, they didn't think I was gonna make it
Sie wollten mich an die Dialyse anschließen, sie dachten nicht, dass ich es schaffen würde
My bottom was gonna be death, within a month, I had relapsed
Mein Ende wäre der Tod gewesen, innerhalb eines Monats hatte ich einen Rückfall
And shot right back up to the same amount of pills that I was taking
Und schoss direkt wieder auf die gleiche Menge an Pillen, die ich nahm
I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day, like
Ich erinnere mich, wie ich jeden Tag durch mein Haus lief und dachte
I'm gonna fucking die
Ich werde verdammt nochmal sterben
Like, I'm, I'm lookin' at my kids, and I need to be here for this
Ich schaue meine Kinder an und ich muss für sie da sein
Coming off of everything, I literally was up twenty-four hours a day for three weeks straight
Nach dem Absetzen von allem war ich buchstäblich drei Wochen lang rund um die Uhr wach
And I mean not sleeping, not even nodding off for a, a fucking minute
Und ich meine nicht schlafen, nicht einmal für eine verdammte Minute nicken
Like, I was literally just up, like, looking at the TV
Ich war buchstäblich nur wach und schaute auf den Fernseher
I had to regain motor skills, I had to regain talking skills
Ich musste meine motorischen Fähigkeiten wiedererlangen, ich musste wieder lernen zu sprechen
It's been a, a learning process, like, it's been, I'm growing
Es war ein Lernprozess, ich wachse
I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be naturally happy
Ich konnte einfach nicht glauben, dass jemand jemals natürlich glücklich sein könnte
Or naturally function, or be just enjoying life in general
Oder natürlich funktionieren, oder einfach nur das Leben im Allgemeinen genießen
Without being on something
Ohne auf irgendetwas zu sein
So, I would say that to, to anybody that it, it does get better
Also, ich würde das jedem sagen, es wird besser
You know? It just, it does
Weißt du? Es wird einfach besser
I think once I took my first Vicodin, it was just like, this feeling of, "Ah"
Penso che una volta preso il mio primo Vicodin, è stato come, questa sensazione di, "Ah"
You know, like everything was not only mellow, but didn't feel any pain
Sai, come se tutto non fosse solo tranquillo, ma non sentissi alcun dolore
It just didn't, it just kind of numbed things
Semplicemente non lo faceva, semplicemente anestetizzava le cose
I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem
Non so esattamente a che punto è iniziato a essere un problema
I just remember likin' it more and more
Ricordo solo che mi piaceva sempre di più
People tried to tell me that I had a problem
Le persone hanno cercato di dirmi che avevo un problema
I would say, "Get that fuckin' person out of here, I can't believe they said that shit to me
Io dicevo, "Cacciate quella cazzo di persona da qui, non posso credere che mi abbiano detto quella merda
They know nothin' about my fuckin' life, are they out of their fuckin' mind?"
Non sanno un cazzo della mia vita, sono fuori di testa?"
I'm not out there shootin' heroin
Non sto là fuori a spararmi eroina
I'm not out there fuckin', you know, puttin' coke up my nose
Non sto là fuori a, sai, mettermi cocaina nel naso
I'm not smokin' crack"
Non sto fumando crack"
You're struggling with the argument of
Stai lottando con l'argomento di
Do you have a problem, or do you not have a problem?
Hai un problema, o non ne hai uno?
Can you control it, or can you not?
Puoi controllarlo, o non puoi?
And I literally thought I could control it
E io pensavo davvero di poterlo controllare
You're taking things that people are giving you that
Stai prendendo cose che le persone ti danno che
You don't even know what the fuck they are
Nemmeno tu sai cosa cazzo siano
They look like a pill
Sembrano una pillola
And they look, they're shaped like something that you take, so you take it, you know?
E sembrano, hanno la forma di qualcosa che prendi, quindi la prendi, capisci?
Xanax, Valium, tomato-tomato
Xanax, Valium, pomodoro-pomodoro
You know what I mean? It's the same thing
Capisci cosa intendo? È la stessa cosa
It's all in the same family, fuck it, take it
È tutto nella stessa famiglia, cazzo, prendilo
Had I had got to the hospital about two hours later, I would've died
Se fossi arrivato in ospedale due ore dopo, sarei morto
My organs were shutting down, my liver, kidneys, everything
I miei organi stavano cedendo, il mio fegato, i reni, tutto
They were gonna have to put me on dialysis, they didn't think I was gonna make it
Avrebbero dovuto mettermi in dialisi, non pensavano che ce l'avrei fatta
My bottom was gonna be death, within a month, I had relapsed
Il mio limite sarebbe stata la morte, entro un mese, avevo ricaduto
And shot right back up to the same amount of pills that I was taking
E sono tornato subito alla stessa quantità di pillole che stavo prendendo
I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day, like
Ricordo solo di camminare per casa mia e pensare ogni singolo giorno, tipo
I'm gonna fucking die
Sto per morire
Like, I'm, I'm lookin' at my kids, and I need to be here for this
Tipo, sto, sto guardando i miei figli, e ho bisogno di essere qui per questo
Coming off of everything, I literally was up twenty-four hours a day for three weeks straight
Smettendo tutto, sono stato letteralmente sveglio ventiquattro ore al giorno per tre settimane di fila
And I mean not sleeping, not even nodding off for a, a fucking minute
E intendo senza dormire, senza nemmeno annuire per un, un cazzo di minuto
Like, I was literally just up, like, looking at the TV
Tipo, ero letteralmente solo sveglio, tipo, guardando la TV
I had to regain motor skills, I had to regain talking skills
Ho dovuto riacquistare le abilità motorie, ho dovuto riacquistare le abilità di parlare
It's been a, a learning process, like, it's been, I'm growing
È stato un, un processo di apprendimento, tipo, è stato, sto crescendo
I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be naturally happy
Non potevo credere che qualcuno potesse essere naturalmente felice
Or naturally function, or be just enjoying life in general
O funzionare naturalmente, o semplicemente godersi la vita in generale
Without being on something
Senza essere su qualcosa
So, I would say that to, to anybody that it, it does get better
Quindi, direi a, a chiunque che, che migliora
You know? It just, it does
Sai? Semplicemente, migliora
[Перевод песни Juice WRLD — «Eminem Speaks»]
[Скит: Эминем]
Думаю, когда я впервые принял викодин, то чувствовал что-то наподобие «Ааах»
Ну знаете, все вещи для меня казались мягкими до такой степени, что я даже боли не чувствовал
Я просто не—, будто моё тело онемело
Не знаю, в какой момент эта херня превратилась в настоящую проблему
Я только помню ощущения, когда мне всё больше и больше нравилось это делать
Люди пытались донести до меня, что это плохо
Тогда я говорил: «Выведите этого типа нахуй отсюда, я не верю, что они говорят такое дерьмо, они нихуя не знают о моей грёбаной жизни, они вообще ёбнулись на голову?»
Я же не ширяюсь героином, я же не, блять, знаете, не нюхаю кокс, не курю крэк
И вот ты метаешься среди двух огней: есть у тебя проблема или её всё же нет? Ты можешь контролировать это или нет?
И я вот буквально верил в то, что могу это контролировать
Ты спокойно берёшь то, что люди дают тебе, даже не задумываясь, что это может оказаться какой-то дрянью
Они выглядят, как обычные таблетки, как те, что ты сам принимал до этого, даже форма та же; поэтому ты их и берёшь, понимаете?
Ксанакс, валиум, для тебя это одно и то же
Понимаете, о чём я? Ты не видишь разницы, это одного поля ягоды, похуй, ты принимаешь их
Если бы меня привезли в больницу на два часа позже, я бы умер
Мои органы отказывали, моя печень, почки, всё
Им пришлось поставить меня на диализ, они думали, что я не выживу
Моим дном на тот момент была бы смерть, через месяц у меня случился рецидив
Я опять начал принимать столько же таблеток, сколько и до этого
Помню, как просто бродил по дому и каждый божий день думал: «Скоро я сдохну», — я смотрел на своих детишек и знал, что мне нужно стараться ради них
Пора уже было заканчивать со всем этим, я фактически был на ногах 24 часа в сутки на протяжении трёх недель
Я серьёзно не спал, даже глаз не смыкал ни на одну ебучую минуту
Типа, я сидел с глазами нарика и просто пялился в телик
Мне пришлось вернуть моторику тела, пришлось научиться заново говорить
Был такой себе учебный процес, будто я опять был ребёнком и по тихоньку взрослел
Тогда я не мог поверить, что кто-то умеет быть действительно счастливым или естественно передвигаться, или просто наслаждаться жизнью без всяких препаратов
Так что я с уверенностью говорю, что так жить лучше, понимаете? Намного лучше
[Konuşma: Eminem]
Sanırım ilk Vicodin alışım da, şey gibi, bu bi' "Ohh" hissi gibiydi
Yani kafanız tamamıyla gitmiyor ama hiç acı da hissetmiyorsunuz
Şey yapmadı— uyuşan parçalarınız oluyor işte
Bu hâlin ne zaman bir sorun olmaya başladığını tam olarak hatırlamıyorum
Sadece o hâle giderek daha çok bağlanıyordum
İnsanla bana sorunum olduğunu söylemeye çalışıyorlardı
Bense "Alın şu sikiği karşımdan. Benimle böyle konuşmaya nasıl cüret ederler? Yaşadıklarım hakkında ne bok biliyorlar? Kafayı mı sıyırmışlar amına koyayım?"
Eroin basmıyorum ya kendime, sikeyim şey yapmıyorum ya, işte, burundan çekmiyorum ya, koklu dumanlanmıyorum ya
Şöyle bi' ihtilafta takılı kalıyorsunuz: "Bu bir sorun mu yoksa eğil mi? Bu iş senin kontrolünde mi yoksa değil mi?"
Ve cidden kontrol edebildiğimi sanıyordum
Birilerinin sana verdiği şeyleri kullanıyorsun, nе bok olduklarından haberin yok
Hap gibiler, şey gibilеr— yani kullandığın bir şeye benziyorlar biçim olarak ve atıyorsun işte, anlarsın ya
Xanax, Valium, hepsi aynı işte
Anlıyor musun beni? Hepsi aynı şey, hepsi aynı yere ait, siktir et, atıyorum işte
Eğer hastaneye iki saat geç gitseydim ölebilirdim
Organlarım iflas ediyorlardı: karaciğerim, böbreklerim, alayı...
Beni diyalize bağlamak zorunda kalacaklardı çünkü hayatta kalabileceğimi düşünmüyorlardı
Belden altım işlevsiz kalacaktı, bir ay içerisinde eski hâlime döndüm
Ve gidip aynı miktarda hapı almaya başladım
Her gün evimin civarında dolaşıp "Gebereceğim lan!" diye düşündüğümü hatırlıyorum, yani... çocuklarıma bakıyorum ve tam da bunun için yaşamalıydım
Her şeyi aklımdan geçiriyordum, yeminle üç hafta boyunca yirmi dört saat uyanıktım
Hani uyumuyordum, birkaç dakikalığına kestirmiyordum bile
Sanki yeni uyanmışım gibi TV'ye bakıyordum
Motor becerilerimi geri kazanmalıydım, konuşma yeteneğimi geri kazanmalıydım
Bu bi' öğrenim süreciydi, büyüyen bir çocuk gibiydim
Sadece, bir şeyler olmadan, herhangi bir kimsenin doğal yollarla mutlu olabileceğine ya da doğal yollarla hayatını sürdürebileceğine yahut hayattan tat alabileceğine inanmıyordum
Hülasa, sadece herkese şunu diyebilirim: Her şey daha iyi oluyor, tamam mı? Oluveriyor işte