Snail Song

There was a snail that lived down the road
He had little ugly babies and his wife was a toad
I would tell him what was on my mind
He said don’t you worry you’re a waste of time

We fell in love for just one day
He left his wife and we ran away
Turned my back for just a sec
Turned around and he was dead

Went home to his widow to tell her the news
Found her in the kitchen giving stick-and-poke tattoos
Said she was fine as she took a deep breath
Then swallowed her ring and choked to death

Little orphan babies who whined whined whined
Stuck them in the yard with a for-sale sign
They were too pricey at three nickels and a dime
Calling me “mommy” by dinner time

I miss my sweater with the flowers
It made me feel so powerful