patent leather do-over
Sylvia - I knew what you meant
When you talked about swimming
In the ocean and leaving your
Patent leather black
Shoes pointing towards it, while you swam
It tickled you to leave them there
It was the thought of a young child or
Of a lost fairy that reminded me of who I am
That's why I am now at
This facility by the ocean
And why I go barefoot and why I go calmly
Why I leave my shoes up by the stairway
I do it for you and I do it for me
Because having learned from others
And from you i learned there was a missing
Piece to finding existential calmness
And domestic bliss to lead to peace you see
You can't fall in love with a man like Ted -
Or a musician who sings about being free
A woodworker doesn't a good man make
If he wants his work to be on TV
You have to separate the wheat from the chaff
You have to be discerning
It takes diligence
Consequence and other things
To keep that sea from churning
And to keep yourself from longing to let
Those painted waves take you under
It isn't just the water black that makes
The body plunder from high sea cliffs
I know my dear
I wish that I had been here or there
I wish that you were here now
If you're not now -
Because who knows how these things work?
Sylvia, Marilyn, Violet, Diana
All of my kind women who came before me
Blonde i dyed my hair black for you
I turned my back on that black pond
I swear I won't stop 'til I'm dead
And here I am at 34 - And what for?
To bring my pair of baby patent
Leather shoes to turn them the
Other way - towards the sea cliffs
Stairs not at the ocean
To bring them back up safe
To the facility instead
And I think of you as I
Walk the 280 wooden steps -
Dynamited into the cliffs a
Hundred years before
I let myself into room 2 and got undressed
I was sunburnt, contemplative and sore
And as I fell asleep by Gabapentin
I lay my head on the pillow
And streched my hand out
On the cool white linen -
And sing you lemon melody
I kept the shoes on the sill
By the window seat -
In case you got restless and wanted to leave
And I hugged you with my baby's breath
And sang your spirit to bed
The way I would have if you were
My child or if I had children
My Queen Anne's lace heart weightless
On your little head