Singing Christmas Tree

Boy, I tell you what
One of my favorite things I like to do at
Christmas is sing in the
Singing Christmas tree
Down there at the church boy
I like it but here I try to be part of the
Singing Christmas tree and it ain't
Nothing but a big hassle

Number one: you show me the verse
In the Bible where it says
'Thou shalt not wear a shirt that
Says "wine 'em, dine 'em
69 'em" to choir practice' it ain't in
There! Not even in the red
Words! The Lord don't care about fashion
He wants you in the church!

And number two: I didn't mеan to hurt
Them folks, but when DeWaynе said, 'Look
I sat in some gum, ' and then I looked
And he had his scrotum pulled out
I was laughing so hard
I shook the plank we were all standing on and
We all lost our balance
And went tumbling what
The hell they got old women up that high
For anyway? Damn! They can
Barely climb stairs
Let alone sing carols from 50
Feet in the air!

Three: I enjoy being a part of the singing
Christmas tree but I don't think the Lord
Would be happy to know that a bunch
Of stuck-up snobs is singing in them
Branches i telled these two
Fat women that the
Retard was singing off-key and they acted
Like I just peed in the bushes lighten
Up! It's supposed to be Christmas!

I sung my hind end off though
And I was happy to
Do something for the Lord and
Contribute to the singing Christmas
Tree and you should've seen the
Boobs on that woman that
Sung 'Away in a Manger' good
Lord! It's a wonder
The whole tree didn't tip over with
Her on the top of
Them branches them was some blue-ribbon
Christmas jugs! But I
Wanna thank the church for letting
Me be in the singing
Tree! One of my favorite
Times of year git-R-Done