The Art of Forgiveness

I would build walls
For miles around me
Around anything that hurt
Any sensitive category
Kept love at an arm's-length
It was natural to me
You did not agree

You said things like "unhealthy"
And I took on the task
Of changing my pattern
All you did was ask
And the walls all came crashing
At a welcoming speed
I was convinced you'd never hurt me

And I used to cling to the back of your mind
But I must have let go
At the moment in time
When she offered careless physical joy
Both bouncing my heart around
Like a cheap rubber toy

And after countless
Hours
Of crying
Trying to forgive you
Believe you
Grow a spine and leave you
Grieve you
I've come to this conclusion

No one prepares you when choosing to stay
How to dare share a bed again
Keep demons at bay
She took something precious
That was just meant for me
Not for her eyes to see

And I used to cling to the back of your mind
But you must have let go
At the moment in time
When she offered careless physical joy
Both bouncing my heart around
Like a cheap rubber toy

And after countless
Hours
Of crying
Trying to forgive you
Believe you
Grow a spine and leave you
Grieve you

And after countless
Hours
Of crying
Trying to forgive you
Believe you
Grow a spine and leave you
Grieve you
I've come to this conclusion

After all the years you invested in me
All the love, tears, and possibilities
I realize that if the tables were turned around
You wouldn't leave me now...