Kinky’s History Lesson

Dear Kinky Friedman, I read what you wrote
Neville Chamberlain surrender monkeys - yup, that was your quote
Well, we all say stupid things sometimes, so here with my blessing
Kinky Friedman, this is your history lesson

Chamberlain declared war on the 3rd of September
The US wasn't involved, as I remember
And after Poland fell, then Belgium and France
Britain stood alone with barely a chance

We faced Hitler down, he unleashed the blitz
A hundred nine elevens that left London in bits
But we never caved in, Britain never surrendered
No petition for peace, Kinky, was ever fuckin' tendered

Oh, Kinky Friedman
Dude, quit your messin'
And listen up good
This is your history lesson

Roosevelt helped us with armaments and food
His vision was sure and his policy good
He'd have brought the USA into the war on our side
But the isolationists had both his hands tied

Stay out, stay out was your public's demand
Till Japan hit Pearl Harbour and that forced your hand
Then your boys fought like lions but so the hell did ours
And only an asshole, Kinky, could call the British cowards

Oh, Kinky Friedman
Take some quiet time processing
These words of mine
Your history lesson

And here's a casualty count for you to muse upon, man
Military personnel and civilians killed in the theatre of World War two
USA: four hundred and nineteen thousand and four hundred
Great Britain: four hundred and fifty thousand and nine hundred
And just to keep perspective
USSR: twenty-seven million... or thereabouts

Yeah, war is no joke
And my friend you misspoke
Or so I'm guessin'
But take this well, buddy
And may it ease your soul
Kinky Friedman this has been
Your history lesson