I deny suicide

I bought my ticket here we go
To catch the bus before the show
I've felt motivation slip away
I need to really make it count
Make it poetic, known around
This fucking struggle,pesters me

I don't want to go out unknown
I just want to be remembered
Painfully or not its time to go
I don't know, i don't know

The urge to be remembered curses all our lives
Its just a struggle of being man
If I relieved myself
I'd wanna do it twice
Because thе fun I would have had

I could just shoot myself in the hеad
I could just overdose in my bed
But I think that's really fucking lame
I could take other people with me
But I'm not evil, now you see
This parabola that's left with me

This is not the mindset I condone
I just want to be dismembered
Gracefully or not its time to go
I don't know I don't know