Constipated

extra cheese uh huh

pizza party at your house
i went just to check it out
19 extra larges what a shame
no one came just us eatin
all alone you said take the pizza home
no sense lettin all this go to waste
so then i faced pizza all day and every day
there's cheese round the clock it's gettin
me blocked and i sure don't care for irregularity

Tell me why'd ya have to go and make me so constipated
cause right now i'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
in the bathroom i sit, and i wait, and i strain and i sweat, and i clench
and i feel the pain oh should i take a laxative or have my colon irrigated
no no no

I was feelin pretty down til my girlfriend came around
we're just so alike in every way i gotta say in fact i just thought i might
pop the question there that night i was kissing her so tenderly but woe is me
who woulda guessed her family crest i'd suddenly spy tattooed on her thigh
and son of a gun it's just like the one on me

Tell me how was i supposed to know that we were both related
believe me if i knew she was my cousin we never would've dated
what to do now, should i go ahead and propose and get hitched and have
kids with eleven toes and move to alabama where that kinda thing
is tolerated
no no no
no no
no no
no no
no no
no no
no no

i had so much on my mind
i thought maybe i'd unwind
try out that new roller coaster ride
and the guide, said not to stand
but that's a demand
that i couldn't meet, i got on my feet
and stood up instead and knocked off my head
you see

Tell me
Why'd i have to go and get myself decapitated
Cause really it's a major inconvenience, oh man i really hate it
it's such a drag now can't eat, i can't breathe, i can't snore i can't belch
or yodel anymore can't spit or blow my nose or even read sports illustrated
OH NO! why'd i have to go and get myself all mutilated
i gotta tell ya life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer i can't blink, i can't cough, i can't sneeze
but neck is enjoying a pleasant breeze now
haven't been the same since my head and i were separated
no no no