Craigslist

Whoa, yeah

You've got a '65 Chevy Malibu
With automatic drive, a custom paint job too
I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow
And a slightly used sombrero
And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist

Craigslist
I'm on Craigslist, baby, come on
Yeah

Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at the mall
I never took a chance, never approached you at all
You were a blond half-Asian with a bad case of gas
I was wearin' red Speedos and a hockey mask
Come on, let's find that love connection that we missed

On Craigslist
Yeah, Craigslist, come on
I'm on Craigslist
Well baby, maybe you are too
Bee bomp a chonk a donk bim bang boo

An open letter to the snotty barista
At the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard
I know there were twenty people behind me in line
But I was on a cell phone call with my mother

Didn't you see me hold up my index finger?
That means I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte
In just a couple minutes, so what's with the attitude, lady?
No tip for you

Got a trash can of styrofoam peanuts
You can have 'em for free
You can drop by on the weekend
And pick 'em up from me

But the trash can ain't part of the deal
Only givin' you the peanuts, get real
Don't have no Hefty bags, so bring your own
Don't bug me with questions on the phone

Don't ask for help, don't waste my time
And don't complain
'Cause they won't cost you a dime
Just ask yourself

Do you want my styrofoam peanuts?
You can have my styrofoam peanuts
Do you want my styrofoam peanuts?
You can have 'em all

They're on Craigslist, yeah
Craigslist, oh baby, come on
I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist
I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist, now
Craigslist