Satan Was Way Cool

Satan was way cool
Everybody was in awe of Satan
He never wore clothes
He just walked around with a goatee and
Horns coming out of his head

He had tattoos and was
Probably into body piercing
Way before anyone else
Satan was the snake that tempted Eve
He knew how lame Eden was so he invented sex
Adam and Eve were thankful and
Had lots of sex
Which increased the population
Finally there was too many people
So Satan invented war
So people could kill each oher
That way there was more places
To live and more food

After many wars, people got bored
So God gave them Jesus
Soon they killed Jesus and got bored again

So Satan gave them rock and roll
Rock and roll became bigger than religion
Everyone wanted to be in a rock and roll band
When Robert Johnson wanted to learn
How to play guitar
All he had to do was go down
To the crossroads and ask Satan

Satan gave Jimi Hendrix a can of lighter
Fluid to set fire to his guitar
He even lent Jim Morrison some beads
And a pair of leather pants
Satan hung out with all the rock stars
And when they got too famous or too fat
Or their music started to suck
He helped them make the
Best possible career move he killed them
That was so cool

In the early days
Satan used to hang out with God
Then people made up stories
Giving Satan a bad name
So God got up-tight and wouldn't
Let Satan hang around anymore that was okay
Satan went down to the earth
And under the ground
And then started his own place
This place was way cooler than heaven
People could go there and party
And get wasted without worrying about their
Job or responsibilities
It was like a big club with no cover charge
There was no rules everything was free
They could go there and stay for eternity