Am I Wrong?

[Intro: Byron]
Sixteen reasons I wanted a better life
But I’ll never ask you because parents that never fight have another way to be cancerous
Always

[Verse: Byron]
Cyphers at seventeen, never liked them but people fiend for excitement
It’s filling voids and it might just be what I need to ignite my cerebellum tonight in honor of we
And I might just be on my own, but I vow to never forget who would help me fight off my demons
If there was ever a moment that I could never achieve, it was saving you from my downfall
Cause you would look at me and then ask what I’m looking down for
I’d say “That’s what I see.”
Am I wrong?
Some of us wither away as I speak
I mean we could have had it all like Adele, rolling way in the deep
A ton of mistakes being made every week that a bundle of money can never change
Staying asleep was the biggest, and lately I noticed you were praying just to keep it up
But the reaper was playing for keeps
You were vulnerable, and all he did is pray on the weak
I wasn’t braced for that impact, it all went black
Began changing again, no longer in tact
I’d bend backwards; in fact I’d kill if it meant you would be out of harm’s way
So you’ll never see me pretend that I’m perfect, I put my life in these verses
I go through too much not to, that’s why losing you was colossal
I don’t know who to blame, I know you had demons too
Though you did make a decision, your man gave you a reason to
Acting irrational
For every beautiful memory, there’s a tragic one
And if I wasn’t afraid, this wouldn’t happen
But you were the person that gave me a reason not to be
Guess overwhelming depression’s enough to flatten us
Whether a beautiful smile or a look of sadness from you
I always saw you for everything you could ever be
More than my best friend, more like a better me
You can’t die

[Verse: Byron (Tony)]
We first met you in ’09 at Discount Zone, remember those gun shots?
Abrupt stop to a freestyle session back on Athania
A couple strays piercing the fence of that repair shop
Exactly where Marina and I could have been laying
A million reasons to die, one to live
But recently, I’m contemplating everything I had to give
You ran into us as we peeked, making sure the coast was clear
Even had the nerve to speak, but no respect towards my dear beloved friend
I wasn’t feeling your intentions, as I’m pulling her behind me
For a kid, I wasn’t showing much fear
“Don’t ever disrespect this young lady again”, is what I said
You replied “My apologies”, raising both of your hands
Maybe I’m overprotective, but of course you understand
You inquire us to help you on a mission to advance in society
Sounds kind of sketchy as I glance over you again
I ask about your past, and your name
And with a look of shame
(My name is Tony, I live in the apartments
I’m seventeen, stay with my momma, but we ain’t talking
I know that y’all ain’t with the drama, but hear me out
I’m trying to be a better person
My father considered walking out to be the best option, so I’m looking for guidance
I noticed y’all together a lot, and I got a problem
He got my mom’s hooked on something that’s mad addictive
So I’ve been raising myself, if you’ve got any words of wisdom, I’ll take them)
For the next three months, we lend a helping hand
Teaching him morality, how to avoid jail time, ect
We watched Tony slowly become a man
Never took credit, but were proud that we could help him
Put his mother in rehab, reluctantly but boldly
I guess it was just too late, the same reason she O.D.’d
Never saw Tony again, but got news he was robbed
Received a round of applause with one hand
You were worth it

[Verse: Byron]
People always worry about me mentally
Oblivious to the scars affecting me physically or how I’m wired differently
Some call it baggage, I call it a dark past
And that’s why I’ve been documenting my life
To me, it’s history so tread softly
Never had a role model, but the dead taught me
You’re better off with no hollows in your head, walking
So be a leader, don’t follow
F a pledge, all these tragedies for more dollars
And the sad part is, I didn’t want to make it to this year
But I have a niece turning two this year
And part of me feels like I don’t spend enough time with her
I won’t lie, plenty of times are just blurs
My mind is in disarray, cluttered with the thought of something missing
Wait, shudder as I start upon a sheet of paper
To recall as much as I can imagine
I’m having trouble remembering something that just happened
Flashbacks of a rose being rained on, I keep hearing everyone say love’s evil
Been restrained for a year, but I ain’t staying long
Because that’ll give me a reason never to love people
I meditate and think of why I need a safe haven
And why I never look at her and say, “I love you”
Why don’t I look in the mirror and say, “I love me?”
A beautiful ugly enough to make any trust skew
So am I wrong since I’d never have a reason to believe without my best friend bleeding through her sleeve?
An immediate reprieve from whatever I was feeling that day
Word to the fake, I was nothing if not relatable
Loved ones won’t come back now that I’m capable
Did they love me back when my choices were all unfavorable?
They left me to die when they were the ones I would cater to
All while suffering from a disease that can do away with you, whoa!

[Outro: Byron]
F it
Freaking stupid