Rap Jesus
[Verse 1]
Who wants to see what I can do? I don't give a shit what you call me
And I don't give a fuck who ya'll see
Whether that be Joshter Jay or Snortz
Or that bitch Jess and she gotta pay for me now
I said Em was short
And I regret that
I should of gone harder like the Marshall Mathers LP
No one can beat me and I don't see how
But no one wants to hear me spit that fact
They just want to hear me rhyme and ignore my other skills
So you got it
Ill
Mentally Ill
Chill
Hundred dollar bill
Abortion pill
Zill
Electric bill
Rolling mill
Water mill
Amatyville
Zil
Electric drill
Real
Oh was that not good enough
Should I make it more complex
I know it's been a while since I've dropped a hit
You could punch me in 4 different places and I still won't split
I'm the definition of what doesn't make shit
I'm the king of rap
And if I was a bitch
Then dogs would run away with it
It's important for me to stop looking so tough
Especially with lots of sex
And when Jay hangs up the mic
I will not clap, I'd rather have him sniff my jockstrap
I'm totally wack
And Lil Pump will never reach those heights
Let me give you a little fact
Snow is white
I'd shove it in their
I'll give you a fucking warning
Don't fuck with me, I always have my pistols packed
People say I'm just a simple act
But my skills are triple stacked
People still aren't impressed
Maybe I should just use more swears
And cut my career in despair
But I don't know what to declare
Maybe I have the most flair
Maybe I should just share my talent
Remember I said warning earlier, well I'll rhyme it with horse spring
My rhyme schemes are so complex that even I'm kerfuffled
Maybe I should take Joshter's advice and live in a brothel
My bars were jumbled
And my fans were puzzled
My words are my asset
I hope you're all aware of what you've witnessed
Cause I'm the peak of interest
And don't be depressed
However, I'm one of the richest and quickest
You know what this is too easy
Zed words aren't said enough
At school I was so sleepy
Maybe I should stop putting fears in ques, I'll stop giving them guff
So let's start this z scheme thing
I'll do this to raise the ceiling
Let's start with zippy
Has anyone ever met a rich hippie
I'm sorry for being a bit snippy
But when you're this pretty
People say you're silly
When I say stuff it's got to be said simply
Actually fuck it I'll go quickly
I'm not that skinny
But I do have skin, Ricky
During the summer I'm not sniffy
I'm like a gay mans pillow, quite prilly
And only dickheads wear dickeys
Also after a shower my hairs frizzy
My voice isn't shrilly
I also break into things nimbly
In a way that is thrifty
Andrew is so ugly, I'd call him grimly
And that's why his not richly
His dick is the size of a pinkie
I know it's risky
But I'm quite frisky
Unfortunately I can be bitchy
Let me tell you it's hard to be kingly
I'm small enough to shimmy
But not like Jimmy
Even though his stinky
But he is shifty
I'm a bee and I'm stingy
I like it because I'm kinky
And I hate the Jews like Walt Disney
I don't like drugs, so don't call me Whitney
Even without rap I can make money cause I'm swifty
People call me filthy
Cause I'm strictly
I'll give a kiss to Britney
Last thing you need to know is, I've made a song about it's always sunny in Philly
Boom, that's 36 bars
I'm done working with stars
Oh, one last thing, I'm back (I'm back, I'm back, I'm back)