Relapse

(Verse One)
Oh, look, another night wasted
Why did I drop every piece?
Today had some highs
But, this shit still lingers beneath
Somehow, I fucked up everything
How'd I manage that? I don't know
It feels like I'm slowly
Falling back down into that hole
I'm always smiling in their faces
So they don't know when I'm breaking
Cuz I know they wouldn't want me
If I wasn't entertaining
I close my curtains, lock my doors
Stare at the bottles full of pills
I keep everything container-ed
But tonight, it just might spill

(Pre Chorus)
It wouldn't be the worst thing
To try to end it all again
It would spare them all
If my life would simply end
I've always loved with all my heart
But, my pulse has grown weak
And no one would even listen
If I were to speak

(Break)
Out

(Chorus)
My mind starts to flicker
And so do these memories
I was so vulnerable
Tried to fix that part of me
It's nights like these
When I'll beg for release
They tell me be strong
Just keep going on

(Break)
But, relapse is calling my name

(Verse Two)
They just simply weren't there
When I was in the thick of my suffering
How would they know, how could they know
The depth of all the ugly
Wouldn't expect them to know
But, everyone tells me that they do
They recite the same old mantra
"Soon are the days that won't be blue"
Their view is photo shopped
My truth bleeds red in all these pictures
They pat my back and walk away
"There's just no way that we can fix her"
It's not worth all the texts
And it's not worth all the calls
I'll just keep suffering in silence
Until the last wall finally falls

(Pre Chorus)
It might be the best thing
To try to end it all again
It would spare them all
If my life would simply end
I've always loved with all my heart
But, my pulse has grown weak
And still no one even listens
When I'm trying to speak

(Break)
Out
I can't keep doing this

(Choru)
My mind starts to flicker
And so do these memories
I was so vulnerable
Tried to fix that part of me
It's nights like these
When I'll beg for release
They tell me be strong
Just keep going on
(But relapse is calling my name)

(Bridge)
If I never wake up
Or if I'm bleeding through my sleeves
Can you turn the other way
You can process your grief
The old scars don't look bad
But, the new ones are gaping
I can never tell anyone
All my plans of escaping

(Post Bridge)
It hurts more then you'll know
One day you'll have knowledge
Of the cause of my death
Whatever they might call it
They could say that it's suicide
But, what they don't see
Is I died long ago
All those nights in those sheets

(Outro)
Don't tell me that you get it
Don't you tell me I'll be missed
Could you not martyr my death?
But, I'll be gone, do as you wish
My mind mastered torture
Convinced me that I missed him
If I could, I'd grab my head
And just rip off that limb