THE CRUX OF FORGIVENESS

I said “fuck forgiveness” and I meant each damn letter
No, I won't forgive you just to make you feel better
They say it’s so important, though I'd disagree
Forgiveness was never an option for me
You might call me selfish, but it's my right, I earned it
Plastered in our heads, I rejected, unlearned it
In my head forgiveness says “what you did’s okay”
How could I let it go while I still carry the weight?
Maybe that makes me jaded, but I'd rather be rigid
Then to meet someone else who has red flags and miss it
I'm building up walls and they're seven feet thick
And I could let them in, but would rather lay the bricks
Cuz the truth of the matter is that life has been pain
Been walked on by villains who spit on my name
A lifetime of traitors, don't know who to trust
I'm stomping my foot down cuz I've had enough
The thing with forgiveness is it is not required
From birth it's something in our brain, it’s been wired
Maybe I should look inward and get to the core
Cuz I still can’t let go, hold onto this hurt more