Phil the Fluter’s Ball

Have you heard of Phil the Fluter?
From the town of Ballymuck
The times was going hard for him
In fact the man was broke
So he sent an invitation
To his neighbors one and all
As how he'd like their company
That evening at a ball

And when writing out
He was careful to suggest to them
That if they found a hat of his
Convenient to the door
The more they put in
Whenever he requested them
The better would the music be
For battering the floor

With a toot on the flute
And a twiddle on the fiddle-oh
Hopping in the middle
Like a herrin' on the griddle-oh
Up, down, hand around
And crossing to the wall
Sure hadn't we the gaiety
At Phil the Fluter's ball

There was Mister Denis Doherty
Who kept a running dog
There was little cripple Paddy
From the Tiraloughett bog
There was boys from ev'ry barony
And girls from ev'ry art
And the beautiful Miss Bradys'
In their private ass and cart

Along with them, came bouncing Mrs. Cafferty
Little Mickey Mulligan
Was also to the fore
Rose, Suzanne and Margaret O'Rafferty
The flower of Ard Na Gullion
And the pride of Petravore

With a toot on the flute
And a twiddle on the fiddle-oh
Hopping in the middle
Like a herrin' on the griddle-oh
Up, down, hand around
And crossing to the wall
Sure hadn't we the gaiety
At Phil the Fluter's ball

First Little Mickey Mulligan
Got up to show them how
And then the widow Cafferty
Step out and takes her bow
"I'll dance you of your legs", says she
As sure as you were born
If only you'll make the piper play
"The Hare was in the corn"

So Phil plays up
To the best of his ability
The ladies and the gentleman
Begin to do their share
Faith, then Mick
It's you that has agility
Begop an Mrs. Cafferty
You're leppin like a hare

With a toot on the flute
And a twiddle on the fiddle-oh
Hopping in the middle
Like a herrin' on the griddle-oh
Up, down, hand around
And crossing to the wall
Sure hadn't we the gaiety
At Phil the Fluter's ball

Then Phil the Fluter tipped a wink
To little crooked Pat
I think it's nearly time, says he
For passing round the hat
So Paddy passed the caipín round
And looking very cute
Said, you have to pay the piper
When he tootles on the flute

Then all joined in
With the greatest joviality
Coverin' the buckle
And the shuffle and the cut
Jigs where danced
Of the very finest quality
But the widow bate the company
At handlin' the foot

With a toot on the flute
And a twiddle on the fiddle-oh
Hopping in the middle
Like a herrin' on the griddle-oh
Up, down, hand around
And crossing to the wall
Sure hadn't we the gaiety
At Phil the Fluter's ball